Page 10 of Even if It Hurts

“No.”

“Briggs—”

“Answer’s no.”

Rush worked his fingers through his beard a few times before looking toward the open doorway as I sent a message to Thatch, letting him know this entire night was on him for not realizing I’d meant it when I’d said I wasn’t going.

TurningDo Not Disturboff once I was finished, I tossed the phone on the desk and took in Rush’s worried expression.

“Why’s this bothering you so much?”

He glanced at me again as a quiet laugh pushed from his lungs. “Because I do know you...like I said.” He gestured toward the door with a lift of his chin. “The others don’t know why you avoid women and relationships, but I do. And you’re gonna realize one day that you made a mistake by pushing people away to keep from repeating your mom’s choices.”

I waited until I was sure he was finished before turning it around on him. “But it’s fine foryouto not live that white-picket-fence life?”

Sadness and longing swept across his features so quickly, I would’ve missed it if I would’ve blinked. “I’m waiting on her, Briggs,” he said honestly as he sat back, crossing his arms over his chest as he did. “I’ve been waiting on her for a long time.”

Surprise pulsed through me at the unexpected admission.

Rush knew my life in a way that very few did—a life that endorsed my aversion to relationships and families. But because of my past, we’d never really talked about dating or women in general unless it had to do with work.

But at his words, my own confession started tumbling free like a sin. “Right before I brought Evans on last year, I came in late one day—not sure if you remember.”

“Coffee shop tracker,” Rush said unexpectedly. When I just stared at him, he shrugged. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever been late to anything. You also saidpeople like her are why we have Donutsso many times that both Thatch and Gray came in with donuts for everyone the next day.”

“Right.” I swallowed thickly before admitting, “That girl...I’ve looked for her at the shop ever since.”

Rush’s brow furrowed for only a second before realization settled over his face and shifted to intrigue. “Looked—Briggs, we can find her. You could’ve already found her by now.”

My head was shaking before he finished talking. “I’m not sure I want to,” I admitted. Before Rush could cut in, I explained, “Something about her...unsettled me.”

Terrified. She’d terrified me.

Because I’d nearly risked my life—again—by going after a couple lower-tier mafia members because they’d chosenher. A girl I’d never seen before that morning and had no intention of seeing again.

Because I’d wanted to stay with her.

Because I’d liked the way she’d fit against me and the way my heart had tripped up every time her stormy blue eyes had locked on me.

“If you’ve been looking for her, I’d say she more than unsettled you,” Rush said with a knowing smirk.

I gave him a dry look but still conceded, “If there were ever going to be anyone, I have a feeling it would be her.” Grabbing for my phone when it began ringing, I glanced at the number I didn’t recognize and offered Rush a victorious smirk. “Good thing I’ll never see her again.”

“I’ll take that bet,” he muttered as I answered the call.

“This is Asher Briggs.”

“Mr. Briggs, this is Detective Grant with the Dallas Police Department,” the man began, and I felt every muscle in my bodylock up and every bone turn to stone as denial and a soul-deep dread ripped through me.

It wasn’t that a detective was calling; we dealt with law enforcement often enough in our line of work, and even more so in my family. It was his tone...that well-practiced sympathy wrapped up in support. The one that only accompanied unimaginable, life-destroying news.

And I knew, before he ever continued, exactly how he was about to destroy mine.

Iwasn’t sure I’d taken a full breath in the week and a half I’d been home.

It always felt like my lungs were being squeezed a little too tight. It always felt like I was tiptoeing around my family’s property and the town. It always felt like my smile bordered on nervous, and my laughter screamed my unease, and it showed in everything.

The tremor in my hands. The hesitation in my words. The way I struggled to hold myself tall and proud when no one bothered to hide their side-eye glances and whispers.

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