Page 78 of Outside The Wire

“Well, I tried to call you over the last few days, but you didn’t answer.”

“Oh, she was busy fucking,” Noelle grinned. “Around here,” she clarified, not making it any better. “She was stuck here during the storm. Didn’t she tell you?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Language, Noelle,” I warned her.

“Like I haven’t heard it all,” my mom waved it off. “Anyway, your father is driving me insane. He started rambling on about how the government sent the storm over us by firing a missile into the eye of the storm and changing the trajectory. I couldn’t stand to hear another word of it. I had to get out.”

“Well, you’re always welcome here. We have all kinds of things you coulddo. Right, Holly?” The way she smirked at me really chapped my ass. She was just begging to get fired. Or de-friended, at the very least.

“Actually, I think we’ve finished up with everything.”

“Right, because Asher was here with you during the storm.”

And there it was.

“Asher?” my mom perked up. “Who is this?”

“He’s her boyfriend,” Noelle grinned.

“Boyfriend? And I’m just hearing about him? Is it serious? Am I going to have grandbabies? What about his family? Are they nice people? He’s not one of those lugheads, is he?”

“Mom! We’re not talking about grandbabies and I haven’t met his family. I have no idea what a lughead is.”

“Well, you’ll just have to bring him over for dinner tonight.”

“I can’t do that. It’s last minute!”

“I have his phone number!” Noelle offered, handing over her phone.

I glared at her, but it was too late. I sliced my finger across my throat, but the threat was lost on her. She didn’t care at all if I threatened her. The only thing she cared about was that she got payback for all the times she had to deal with Asher and me over the past few weeks.

“This is perfect. I’ll invite him over for dinner tonight and we’ll all get to know each other.”

“Mom, don’t you think that’s something I should do?”

“Nonsense. Why can’t I call him? He’s going to be my son-in-law.”

“Mom, there’s been no proposal. We’re just dating!”

Noelle started humming the wedding march and my mom started giggling with glee. I was going to kill both of them, but in what order, I hadn’t decided yet.

“This is not going to happen. I’m telling you, if you call him, I’m just going to cancel.”

“Dear, when are you going to learn that I always get my way?”

“He can’t meet Dad! Are you crazy? Have you seen him lately? I mean, I love him, but you just told me his latest conspiracy theory. Are you sure you want to invite Asher over before I have a ring on my finger?”

My mother pondered that for a moment. “I hadn’t considered it that way.”

“Maybe you should.”

“I think it’ll be fine,” Noelle cut in. “If he can’t accept your family the way they are, then he’s not the man for you.”

Again, I sent her a scathing look, but she only smiled sweetly at me.

“Noelle’s right, honey. And she should come, too.”