Page 45 of Outside The Wire

“I just need a minute. I swear, I’ll be fine.”

“Asher, I’m not firing you. Clearly, something’s going on. Take the rest of the day and get your head on straight. It’s fine.” He grasped my shoulder and smiled at me. “Come back tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded, still shocked he wasn’t canning my ass. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Hey, we all have bad days.”

Again, I nodded, unable to tell him how much it meant to me that he had such faith in me. I hadn’t had that in a long fucking time. Not since…well, not since I worked at OPS. And I’d walked away from them.

I gathered up my shit and headed out, but I couldn’t go home. Not yet. There was nothing for me there. I needed to clear my head, and I had no clue how to do that right now. Chase’s phone call had really fucked with my head. For the longest time, I just drove around. I didn’t even pay attention to where I was until the sun started to go down and the gas tank was approaching empty.

By then, I realized it was too late to pick up Holly from work. I hadn’t even thought about her. Hell, I couldn’t even remember if I had thought about a single thing all day. I spaced out most of what had happened while I was driving around.

The drive back to my house was long, and by the time I arrived, I still didn’t want to go in there and be all alone. I had a choice to make. I could let that dream and my own self-loathing ruin what could be the best thing of my new life or I could attempt to be a human being and talk to Holly. I wasn’t sure what would come out, if anything. Hell, she might not even want to see me. After all, I did forget her hot cocoa this morning.

But it was worth a shot.

Shewas worth a shot.

But I couldn’t show up empty-handed. I grabbed some fried chicken on the way over, along with every side I could think of. I didn’t know what she liked and I wasn’t about to miss out on something and face her wrath. Besides, from what I knew about her, she wasn’t that picky and would most likely be happy with anything I brought. That didn’t mean I couldn’t aim to please.

As I pulled up to her house and saw her lights on, panic tore through me. This was what I wanted, but suddenly, the thought of going inside and facing her was almost too much. What was I going to do? Walk in there with chicken and explain that I had a bad dream? Was I twelve?

“Pull your shit together,” I muttered to myself.

I grabbed the large bag of food and slammed the door to my truck. I would not blow the best thing that had happened to me in years. I marched up to her door and pounded my fist against the wood—maybe a little too harshly. I wasn’t angry at her. I was pissed as hell at myself, though.

The door swung open and the smile on her face slowly vanished. Fucking hell, I really screwed up.

“Asher, hey.”

“I have food.”

Her eyes dropped to the bag. “I can see that.”

“It’s for you. For us. If you’ll let me in.” Great, now I was the one fucking rambling. “I’m sorry about earlier today. I know I fucked up. I forgot the hot cocoa, and that was a big mistake. And then I know I didn’t pay attention to you. The thing is—well…the thing is…”

She quirked an eyebrow at me, her lips twitching in amusement.

“You’re laughing at me.”

“I sort of am.”

“Why?”

“Did you think I would be upset that you were having a bad day?”

I shifted from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. “Um…is this a trick question?”

“Like if you said yes, I would say…”

She waited for me to respond and I leaned in, waiting for her to give me the answer.

“Asher, I’m not trying to trick you.”

“Oh.” I looked down at the bag and then back to her. “So…do you want some chicken?”

“I could eat.”

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