Page 23 of Outside The Wire

“What did you put?” she asked, snatching the phone from my hands. “Kind sir?” She slowly looked up at me, quirking an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

My smile faded as panic took over. “Oh God. No good?”

“Kind sir?” she repeated. “Is this the Medieval times? Did he get you a loaf of bread? Or skewer a rabbit for you?”

I flopped down on the counter in the back room, crying out in agony at the stupidity of my text message. I thought it was so clever. “Why? Why did I say that?”

“Because you have stupid text messaging skills. That’s why,” she said, handing my phone back to me.

I rolled my head on the counter, then thumped it twice. I was going to dating hell. There was a place for women like me where only the stupid were sent. We commiserated over failed relationships because of inconceivably idiotic text messages and the inability to not overthink every last detail of said relationship.

My phone pinged and I jerked upright, my fingers itching to open the message even as fear struck deep in my heart. “Crap, what if he says not to message him ever again? What if he says to lose his number?” I spun on Noelle and grabbed her by the shirt. “What if he says he’s calling the cops on me!”

“Would you get ahold of yourself!” She slapped me hard across the face and I backed up, holding onto my cheek.

Crap, I was losing it. I really needed to get some control. “Right. Sanity. Whatever happens, happens.”

“Exactly. Why don’t you look at the message before you lose your shit.”

I took a deep breath, nodding at her. I swiped my thumb across the screen and nearly wept for joy.

I can’t wait to see you again. Dinner tonight?

“Dinner tonight.He wants to have dinner with me!” I shouted, jumping up and down as I thrust my hands in the air. “Oh my gosh! He doesn’t think I’m a weirdo!”

I squealed as I jumped up and down, and Noelle joined in, grabbing my arms as we jumped, spinning in a circle. Yes, we were strange and it was slightly alarming, but hell, I wasn’t going to think too much of it right now. I really liked him and was just saved from the proverbial relationship bullet of death.

Noelle stopped jumping suddenly. “Wait, dinner tonight. So, he just skipped over the whole kind sir thing?”

“Yep, didn’t even care,” I grinned.

“Didn’t care or skipped over it and chose to ignore it?”

“Does it really matter?” I asked. “He’s asking me out to dinner. He can’t wait to see me again!” I said, shoving my phone in her face. “Me! Dinner tonight!”

“Right, but—No, you’re right. Of course, you have to go to dinner. Who cares about the whole kind sir thing,” she waved me off.

But even as she said it, a rock dropped in the pit of my stomach. She was right. What if he really did think I was weird and was just brushing it off and giving me a strike? What if I was only allowed three strikes before I was out? I was already down one strike and we hadn’t even been on one date.

I stumbled over to a stool and sank down on shaky legs. I was breathing hard, barely sucking in oxygen.

“Hey, you’ve got this,” Noelle said, pumping me up. “It’s just a text. It was stupid. I’m stupid. I shouldn’t have said anything!”

“But you did, you stupid bitch! Why did you have to ruin this for me?”

“Because I’m a stupid bitch,” she retorted. “I thought we already covered that!”

“We did. I just thought I’d point it out again,” I shouted.

I was near hyperventilating and on the verge of losing my shit. How the hell had I gone from a sane, rational woman to this crazy lunatic in the span of twenty-four hours? Hell, it had only been twelve hours. And it was all over a man.

I bent over and tucked my head into my hands. “What is wrong with me?”

She sighed, patting me on the back. “You really like him. That’s what’s wrong with you.”

“I do. I’m so screwed.”

“Yeah, you are. There’s only one thing you can do.”

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