Page 103 of Outside The Wire

I rolled over as best I could and stared at the ceiling. “Well, you really did it this time. Now you’re sad and alone with a rug that’s too big and a picture of a giant cock on the wall.”

He camein the middle of the night, helped me to bed, and gave me my pills, but he was gone when I opened my eyes in the morning. I wasn’t even sure he had really been here at all. Maybe I’d imagined the whole thing. And along with that, the gentle kiss he pressed to my lips as I laid in bed crying.

He was comforting me when I’d been an asshole.

There was definitely something wrong with this picture. It was me. I was what was wrong with this picture. I had somethingamazing with him and I just had to keep pushing. And for what? Answers that might not even matter?

I rolled over in bed, wincing as my stomach pulled, along with the multiple stitches. The bruising was a wonderful reminder of the way my day started yesterday, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the way my face was swelling did the job just as nicely. There was no way I was going out in public like this today. Maybe not tomorrow, either.

I fumbled for my phone on the nightstand, looking for Noelle’s number with my one good eye. Crap, it was already past the time she would leave for the store, and she’d be expecting me.

I dialed her number and raised the phone to my ear, hoping she wouldn’t yell at me when I told her I wouldn’t be in today.

“You’re up awfully early. I expected you to be sleeping all day.”

“Really?” I asked in surprise.

“Well, yeah. Asher said you were pretty out of it and you weren’t up for running the shop.”

“When did you talk to Asher?”

“Yesterday, and last night, and again this morning.”

I sat up, ignoring the pain in my stomach. “This morning?”

“Yeah, after he left your place.”

“Left my place?”

She sighed. “Are you going to repeat everything I say?”

“Noelle, he didn’t stay here last night.”

“Girl, that’s insane. I know Asher. After the way you were attacked yesterday, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that man wouldn’t be by your side all night.”

“Yeah, well, that was before I opened my big mouth and said some stupid shit to him,” I grumbled, still feeling like an asshole.

“Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?”

“More like I fucked over paradise.”

“And why would you do that?”

“Because I’m an idiot.”

“Well, whatever you said, it can’t be that bad. I’m telling you, he stayed with you. That man is so in love with you, it wouldn’t have mattered if you had kicked him in the balls and shoved him over a cliff. He still would have climbed back up with his one good testicle and broken limbs, and made sure you were alright.”

I huffed out a teary laugh, wiping the snot from my nose. I couldn’t believe I had screwed things up so badly with him. “How do I fix this? I doubt telling him I’m sorry is enough.”

“You never know. Maybe that’s all he needs to hear. What exactly did you say?”

I was embarrassed to even repeat the words, and telling her felt like a breach of trust somehow, but if I was going to get him back, I was going to need all the help I could get.

“Asher has this past that he doesn’t talk about. He left it behind. I questioned that after I saw him attack that man. It just seemed so out of character for him. And when I pushed him to tell me about his life, he said he left it behind and he didn’t want to talk about it. I said something like…maybe I needed a whole man.”

“Ouch. Seriously?”

Groaning, I flopped back on the bed, ignoring the pain once again. “I know. I’m such an idiot.”

---