Page 132 of Fair Catch

Phoenix looks like that cat that just ate the canary when he glances at the blowhard beside him. “That’s a question for you to answer, Theo.”

Theo the Bouncing Blowhard. Got it.

Theo’s wearing a pained expression now as he glances at Phoenix, giving him one of thosedon’t talk about Fight Clublooks. “Madden’s my step brother. He was just here to deal with…parent stuff.”

Phoenix hums, clearly enjoying whatever the hell is happening. “Parent stuff. At barely eight in the morning. Sounds logical.”

“I’m gonna let you two talk,” Theo says slowly before backing out of the doorway.

Phoenix moves out of the way for his roommate to head back inside, a shit-eating grin on his lips as he takes Theo’s place in the doorway.

Leaning against the doorframe, he shoots me a wry smirk. “You don’t know this yet, but I just won a hundred bucks because of you.”

“Yeah, that’s great and all, Phoe, but I really need to talk to Kason.”

His expression immediately takes on a more guarded look, and it makes me wonder what Kason told him about how things ended. Or maybe it was my unintentional use of Kason’s nickname for him that’s clearly become part of my vernacular.

“Like I said, he’s not here. He’s down in Indy. And not to sound like a dick, because I do like you, but if he hasn’t talked to you, it’s probably for a reason.”

“Which is only because he thinks we don’t have another option,” I try reasoning, that helpless feeling inside me growing exponentially. “He’s had to have told you what happened. You’re his best friend.”

“He did, yeah.”

“Then what would you do here? Would you fight for the person you want to be with?”

Something about his expression tells me he’d be exactly where I am right now, even if he won’t admit it.

“The question is, do you even know what you’re fighting for?”

“I’m fighting for him. For a future together. For—”

“But what does that future look like?” he insists, his head tilting to the side. “You’re a planner, Hayes. I knew that about you the moment I met you. So tell me, what’s the plan? Have you spoken to your parents? Decided what you’ll do if he gets drafted? If he doesn’t? And then there’s the big one—if he’s worth giving up everything you thought your life would look like? ‘Cause from what he’s told me, no matter what path he takes, that’syourreality if you choose to be with him. Are you really ready to face that?”

The truth is, no.

I haven’t thought about the variables, the possible outcomes, the ways to make them work. I’ve been too busy living in self-pity to truly think about what choosing him entails.

But the thing is, spending the rest of my life without him doesn’t even feel like a choice.

“Look, I’m not gonna tell you what to do. If you wanna get in your car now and drive down to Indianapolis and make some grand love declaration, then I’m not gonna stop you. Hell, you can hitch a ride with Holden on the way down. But what I will say is…think about it before you do something rash.”

He pauses, I’m sure to wait for me to argue or something. But when I remain silent, he continues, soft and sincere.

“From what I can tell, he’s finally gotten into a good headspace to perform today, despite the turmoil he’s been going through since he moved out. And you going down there? There’s a good chance that, even if it all goes well, it will have him distracted or fuck with his emotions on the one weekend that his career could be riding on. He deserves to be focused on his future and achieving his dreams, same as you.”

“But heismy future,” I snap, unable to hide the defeat from my voice. “I’d figure you, if anyone, would understand that.”

Phoenix holds his hands up. “You don’t need to convince me, I’ve seen the two of you together. Which is why I’m not suggesting you don’t fight for him. I hope you do, because he’s one of my favorite people, and I want nothing more than to see him happy.” His patient gaze stays locked on me, and the sincerity in them has my heart squeezing uncomfortably. “All I’m trying to do is encourage you to think about the variables before either of you make promises or decisions you’ll regret, and it’ll lead to both of you hurting all over again.”

I don’t know what to do, what to say, or think or feel. The logic in me knows this isn’t the right time, but the stupid organ in my chest doesn’t want to believe that’s true.

I sink down to the step I’m standing on, dejected and miserable, and stare out at the street, wondering where the hell I go from here.

The sound of the door falling closed behind me has me thinking Phoenix went back inside, having enough of…whatever this is. But a few seconds later, he’s sitting on the step and staring at the street with me.

“Look, I know first-hand how fucking much this sucks and how helpless you feel right now. I get it, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But we both know how hard he’s worked to be where he is right now, how much it means for him to even have this opportunity at all. And he’s earned this chance to see his dream through. Or at least to know if that’s the path he’s gonna be taking.”

I know he’s right. Kason deserves a fair catch.

---