Page 123 of Fair Catch

I hadn’t accepted the check Hayes’ parents offered, nor the money to buy out the rest of the lease. When I finally had the courage to find the damn thing where it was left in the breast pocket of my suit, I’d ripped the damn thing to shreds and sent it right back where it came from.

The money to buy out my half of the lease, on the other hand, was a lot simpler for them to take care of by sending a check straight to the management company of our apartment complex.

Holden frowns. “Damn. I didn’t realize the two of you had a falling out. You were really good together, from what I could tell.”

A low hum slips out without my permission, muttering a simple, “Yeah,” in response.

Awkward silence fills the air between us as we stop next to Holden’s Jeep, and I need an escape route from Hayes being the topic of conversation.

Confiding in Holden would be too hard, I think. Not because he isn’t worthy of it, but because the entire time, I’d be wishing I was talking to Phoenix instead. Wondering whathewould say.

“I gotta get going, but it was good to see you,” I tell him, before thumbing over my shoulder toward my car.

Holden must read my discomfort, because he doesn’t push me for anything more. He just offers an understanding nod before telling me, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

I nod. “I’ll try my best.”

“I’m serious, Kase.” His gaze softens as he cocks his head. “Even if we’re officially no longer teammates, I’m always in your corner.”

Emotions cause my throat to tighten at his unexpected declaration, and all I can do is nod in thanks while I attempt to clear the baseball currently sitting on my trachea.

A pained smile crosses my face, and I know I’m barely keeping it together now.

“Thanks, Hold,” I rasp, unable to keep the gravel out of my voice, even when I try to lighten the mood. “And thanks for not letting me get locked in the library overnight.”

He waves me off before grabbing the door handle on his Jeep. “Don’t mention it. You’d do the same for me.”

Nodding, I leave him at his car and head toward my own near the other side of the lot.

My long shadow cast by the light from the lampposts is my only companion now, and I try to shove down the emotion clogging my throat and threatening to spill from my eyes.

It was only a few months. I shouldn’t be this destroyed by losing someone after that short of time. Yet in the span of this week, I’ve never felt more alone.

Not when my mom left.

Not all those years being bullied or beaten.

Not after everything that happened with Phoenix.

This tops it all, and I don’t know how I’m gonna survive it.

A couple tears coat my lashes, and I blink them away before they fall completely as I unlock my car and yank open the door. I climb inside haphazardly, tossing my backpack and phone in the passenger seat, and debating whether or not going to Mal’s in this state is a good idea.

She’ll want me to talk through it, get my feelings out in the open, and force me to stop wallowing on something that isn’t going to change. And I know I probably should do those things. My therapist would likely agree, if I actually called her to reschedule the appointment I’d canceled earlier this week.

I just can’t.

Not right now. Not with any of it.

Deciding that a drive to clear my head might be best before going to Mal’s, I turn my key in the ignition and my car roars to life. I’m about to throw it in reverse when movement out of my peripheral pulls my attention out my driver’s side window, only to find Holden right there, scaring the absolute shit out of me.

Apparently I can’t handle jump scares in horror movies or real life.

Rolling down my window, I ask, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack tonight?”

“Well, if you would have answered your phone, I wouldn’t have needed to scare you.”

Frowning, I check my phone to see a missed call from him. “Sorry, it was still on silent from being in the library.”

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