Page 75 of Caught Stealing

“I get he’s your best friend, I do. But are you seriously planning to let his happiness dictate your own for the rest of your life?” Holden’s head cocks to the side as he stares at me. “Because if you wanna talk about the paths we’re both on? Then that’s yours.”

“Awfully bold of you to assume you’re something that makes me happy.”

“Is it, though?” Those golden eyes narrow on my face, studying and analyzing me the way I was him earlier. Except, from the small hint of victory there, he’s having an easier time than I was.

Because—on some fucked-up level—he’s right. Even if I wish he wasn’t.

So rather than face it head on, I deflect.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish here.”

His response is immediate. “I want you to give in to this, Nix. The way I know you want to.”

My jaw ticks with effort, and I taste the lies on my tongue when I utter, “You’re wrong.”

He’s asking for the one thing I can’t give.

“Except I’m not.” He takes another slow step toward me, closing the distance between us until I’m backed into the wall. Placing his hands on either side of my head, he cages me in like he always seems to do; close enough to touch but still so far away.

The inches feel like miles when he’s in my space like this.

Breathing my air. Intoxicating me the way only he can.

“I’m not wrong,” he whispers, “and we both know it.”

The back of my head collides with the wall, and my eyes fall closed as a secret spills from my lips. A secret I’ve been trying to hang onto like it’s my last thread of sanity.

Except now, it’s lost in the wind.

“I don’twantto want you.”

“I know.”

Eyes still closed, I shake my head. “It’s not fair to Kason.”

“I know. But it’s not fair to you either.”

“We should…” I trail off, torn between what feels right and what Iknowis. “We can be friends, but I can’t do anything more. I can’t do that to Kason. I just…”

I can’t.

Holden shifts in front of me, and the sudden heat of his palm cupping the back of my neck sends my eyes flying open.

Only the second they do—my gaze colliding with his once again—I realize my mistake.

Because now I can’t unsee the look in his eyes. The honesty and vulnerability in them is disarming.

“And I can’t just be your friend, Nix. I don’t know how.”

His attention dips to my mouth for a moment before resting his forehead against mine. The hand curled around the back of my neck tightens, like the tiny hold on me is the only thing keeping him grounded.

“Let yourself be selfish,” he murmurs, lips a breath away. “Even if it’s just this once.”

My fingers dig into his forearm as the war between desire and loyalty rages within me, each trying to gain the upper hand. I’m not even sure which side will prevail, only that the battle is tearing me apart from the inside out. Ripping my soul to shreds until there’s nothing left.

The tip of his nose brushes over mine with a gentleness nearly capable of bringing me to my knees.

“Nix.”

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