Page 133 of Caught Stealing

“And you’re okay with that?” I ask, slowly.

This time he nods. “He’s choosing him…and I’m choosing me.”

The last three words of his sentence cause my heart rate to spike immediately. How can it not, when that’s all I wanted for him? Forus?

But a lot of time has passed since we were in Nashville—where I saw the truth in his eyes as his mouth straight-up lied to my face. Six weeks’ worth of time. And I don’t know if, in that time, he’s decided the words he let spill from his lips that day were the truth, after all.

Still, I have to ask. I have to know.

“What exactly does choosing yourself entail?”

He offers me a gentle smile. “Creating some healthy boundaries. Breaking some bad habits. I’ve spent a lot of time working on the guilt I’ve been harboring. Letting go of that shit so I can make way for all the good things. Accepting the past for what it is, even if I can’t change it, and focusing on what I can.” He pauses briefly, eyes locked with mine, before adding, “Learning to accept that sometimes it’s okay to be selfish and put myself first.”

My brows hike up. “Is this some sort of twelve-step program you found, or are you just kinda making it up as you go along?”

“Maybe a little of both?” he says as a soft laugh slips free, the decadent sound washing over me like whiskey and honey. He sobers quickly, though, and he rolls his teeth over his lip. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for shutting you out and not leaning on you when all you wanted was to take my pain away.” His features show an endless amount of sorrow when he adds, “And I’m sorry for taking this long to reach out. The last thing I wanted was to do it before I felt ready, but that doesn’t mean it hurt you any less.”

“Six weeksis a long time to feel ready,” I point out softly.

“Change doesn’t happen overnight,” he says, echoing a sentiment Quinton said not even ten minutes ago. “But I hope you know I would’ve done it faster if I could’ve.”

His eyes reveal it’s the truth, and some of the pressure in my chest eases because of it.

Phoenix is many things—loyal to a fault being one of them. But if I’ve learned anything about him over the past few months, it’s that he has the biggest heart of anyone. He’d never do something to hurt me on purpose.

It actually…makes me glad to hear he’s taken the time to do the work he needed. Truly put himself first. Just from looking at him, I can tell it’s helping.

“Well, you look good,” I murmur, my lips curling up at the corner. “Happier, you know?”

The smile on his lips—rare, bright, and genuine—steals my breath. Clenches the fist around my heart at the mere sight of it.

“I’m getting there. Still have a few changes I need to make to be there fully, though,” he says, and though there’s still a smile on his face, I hear the seriousness in his tone as well. “I have some wrongs to right. Mistakes to correct. And even alter some of the decisions I made that weren’t entirely for me.”

The last part causes the floor to drop out from under me, because I know one major decision he’s made that wasn’t his own. And for the fucking life of me, I don’t think my heart can take this blow.

“Why do I have a feeling you’re about to tell me part of that includes moving to Portland and playing your last college baseball season for Foltyn?” I ask, doing my best to keep my voice steady while clenching the duck on my fist.

His brows draw down. “Why in the hell would you think that?”

“You just said altering decisions, and the only reason you came here was for Kason and—”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he cuts in, an amused smirk on his lips.

The relief flooding me would be comical to the guy I was six months ago. But now, I don’t even care how sappy or pathetic it makes me. I want him here. I want to see him smile, hear his voice, and feel his skin against mine.

I wanthim.

He brings me a sense of peace I haven’t known since my parents were alive, and I don’t want to live without it anymore.

“You’re staying,” I repeat, wanting the words to be true yet barely believing them all the same.

Phoenix moves in closer, leaving only inches separating our bodies. Inches that feel like miles when both of his hands reach up and slowly cup either side of my face. The heat of his skin seeps into mine, and it instantly sends a warm fuzziness spreading through my extremities that’s as grounding as it is addictive.

“I’m staying,” he whispers, thumbs brushing along my cheekbones. “It might not have been my first choice in the beginning, but Leighton’s grown on me. And I honestly don’t think I’d enjoy attending a college halfway across the country from the guy I love.”

I damn near choke on my spit before sputtering out, “What?”

A raspy chuckle I love so much spills from his lips. “Theo mentioned something about you going deaf recently. Guess he wasn’t kidding.”

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