Page 132 of Caught Stealing

The second the door swings open, I spot Phoenix sitting on the bed. His head’s resting in his hands and there’s a slump to his shoulders that speaks of agony and regret.

It’s a pose of defeat if I’ve ever seen one.

I take a step into the room and close the door behind me, thesnickof the lock engaging finally grabbing his attention. It must take him a second to realize it’s me, because a look of irritation I’d know anywhere is written all over his face—the same one he’s aimed at me plenty of times in the past six months.

Only it disappears just as quickly, relief taking its place as he rises to stand.

“You came,” he says, immediately stepping towards me. “I was starting to think you were so pissed at me, you wouldn’t show.”

It hurts a little that he didn’t think I would. Even after telling him I love him. Words…I haven’t said to anyone outside of my family. Words that somehow don’t even do justice to what I feel for him; they just aren’t big enough.

Then again, a small piece of me thought about not coming tonight. Debated whether or not I could show up, put my heart on the line for a second time, only for him to decide his best friend was more important than me. I’ve had enough loss in my life; I don’t need the pain of losing him too.

Yet now that I’m here, standing in front of him, I realize maybe Oakley was right. Not knowing would be worse. It’d end up being the only thing through this whole fucking mess that I’d regret.

“Holden?” Phoenix whispers, and I realize I’ve yet to say anything.

God, I don’t even knowwhatto say.

“Yeah. I, uhh…” I try clearing the knot in my throat that grew three sizes the moment I saw him, but my voice still comes out raw and thick anyway. “I got your note.”

Pulling the tiny flamingo duck from my pocket, I show it to him—as if he didn’t know what I was talking about.

“I can see that,” he says, a hint of a smile on his lips as he crosses the room to me. The swirling, bubbling feeling in my stomach intensifies once he stops right in front of me and takes the duck from my hands.

I hate how my skin lights on fire when his fingertips brush against my palm. Hate the way my body aches and yearns for this man—the way my soul reaches toward his constantly and without end.

Phoenix’s eyes lift to mine as he slides the duck into the pocket of my hoodie, a little smirk on his lips. “Guess the cat’s outta the bag though, right?”

I blink at him, wondering if he’s lost his damn mind, because—

“It was never in the bag.”

The smile is a complete grin now, and he whispers, “Yeah, you’re right. Especially when you’re so good at seeing right through me.”

His gaze moves from mine down to my lips, and I don’t have to be a mind reader to know what he’s thinking. It’s the same sentence running through my head.

Eyes and mouth.

The intimacy of the moment sends my pulse into overdrive, and I quickly look away. My focus skims over the room we’re in, desperate for a distraction, but it doesn’t work. Not when the part of my brain recognizes this as the room I woke up—naked, hungover, and alone—almost exactly a year ago.

My throat constricts as I look back at the man who continues shredding my heart into pieces while simultaneously being the reason it still beats.

“Who’s room is this?” I find myself asking.

“Some guy named Grayson, who I paid to let me kick him out for a while,” he says with a laugh.

The thought of him doing that has a smile quirking up the corner of my mouth. “You paid a guy off to use his bedroom? Seriously?”

He shrugs. “Call me sentimental, I just wanted to have this conversation with you where the whole thing began.”

I shove my hands into the pocket of my sweatshirt in search of the duck he just placed there. My fingers wrap around the smooth rubber, squeezing it in my palm as if it’s enough to ground me. Ease some of the tension coiled in my body like a snake ready to strike.

“So…” I start, going in the only direction I can think of, “You and Kason are good, then?”

He opens his mouth to speak before his lips tilt into some semblance of a smile. But the most confusing part is the way it’s still on his face when he shakes his headno.

“Not entirely. But I think we will be. Someday.” His eyes hold a fair amount of sadness when he adds, “We need some time apart from each other.”

---