Page 123 of Caught Stealing

My fingers sink into my hair as more of Phoenix’s teammates load their bags into the luggage hold of the bus before climbing the stairs to find a seat. Watching each one of them only causes my stomach to churn with even more anxiety.

Thankfully, Theo emerges from the stadium a few minutes later, spotting me the second he steps foot outside. And when he does, the look of sympathy crossing his face just about guts me. A feeling that only gets worse after he tosses his bat bag into the bus and approaches me.

He doesn’t say anything when he squats down beside me; he just aims a gentle smile before squeezing my shoulder. It’s meant to be reassurance, obviously, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way.

It feels like the rest of my life is being ripped from my grasp.

“He’s coming, right?” I find myself asking as my head sinks to my hands. “He’s getting on that bus?”

There’s another soft squeeze of my shoulder before Theo releases me and stands.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Once I register his words, my head snaps up to find a set of the darkest brown eyes I’ve ever seen already staring at me from only a few feet away.

Eyes I know so well, they might as well be my own.

“Nix,” I whisper while scrambling to my feet. I’m caught between wanting to rush forward to haul him into my arms, while also realizing he might not want me to touch him. May need to keep some distance between us when all I’m craving is to erase it entirely.

I fucking hate this.

“Hey,” he says softly before shoving his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. “Sorry I had you waiting so long. When I said that, I didn’t realize the game would go into extra innings.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like you planned it,” I tell him earnestly.

Yeah, maybe I was losing my damn mind thanks to the boatloads of anxiety I’ve been feeling since last night, but it’s not like it was his fault the game went long.

Phoenix gives a solemn nod before he looks down at his feet and kicks at the pebbles resting on the asphalt.

Theo takes the hint and offers his hand out for Phoenix’s bag currently draped over one shoulder. “I’ll see you at home,” he murmurs to me before heading back toward the bus.

I just nod and gnaw at my lower lip, thankful for my roommate leaving but also not knowing where to go from here now that we’re alone. Not sure what to expect.

Phoenix has me all sorts of off-balance.

“Walk with me?” I finally ask.

“Yeah, but I can’t go far,” he says, nodding toward the bus. “Don’t want them to leave without me.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to saylet them,and then I could drive him back to Chicago, but I keep the thought to myself and just utter a softokayin response.

We fall into step beside each other and head away from the bus in silence. Unbearable, suffocating silence that drowns me with every step we take until his hand grabs my arm to stop me, and he finally breaks it.

“Listen, about what you said earlier…” he starts, trailing off before saying much of anything at all.

“I meant it,” I whisper. “Every fucking word.”

Unable to stand another second this far apart, I close the distance between us. One hand curls around the back of his neck, the other sliding down to entwine my fingers with his.

There’s no way I’m saying these words for a second time without touching him. Only, he doesn’t give me the chance when he pulls free from my grasp.

“Holden, just…” He pauses again and clears his throat. “Please, don’t do this.”

I can’t help the scoff that slips free while I shake my head at him. “Don’t,what?Don’t love you? Because it’s a little too fucking late for that, baby.”

His eyes close, like my admission physically pains him.

And I don’t know what to do other than forge on.

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