Page 119 of Caught Stealing

“I’m sorry—”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it anymore, Phoe. Not when all I want is for you to tell the truth.” If I didn’t know him as well as I do, I’d miss the sorrow in his eyes as he glares down at me. All I’d see is the anger as he mutters the sentiment again. “Just tell the fucking truth.”

So I finally do.

I step back and let all the lies and secrets, the deceit and betrayal, spill from me. I let the truth set me free as they land in a heaping pile at his feet where he can see each of them in all their ugly glory. Where he can sift through them, picking out the pieces and analyzing them under a microscope.

There’s no reason to keep hiding anything now. No point in pretending this will hurt any less by keeping it from him. So I’m more than happy to tell him whatever answers he wants to know, especially if it means having any shot at earning his forgiveness.

Yet when I bring the sordid tale to a close and wait for him to say something, all he does is stare at me in silence.

And it’s fucking deafening.

“Kase,” I murmur, praying for him to speak.Needinghim to say something.

Only, when he does, part of me wishes he’d let me drown in the silence instead.

“You sat there judging me for even thinking about sleeping with Holden, yet here you are, doing exactly that. For months without saying a damn thing about it.” He wets his lips and shakes his head before continuing in a harsh whisper. “I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

His words are knives, and they cut deep. Mostly because I don’t recognize myself anymore, either. The person I was would’ve never done this to him. He would’ve shoved down the feelings rising to the surface and fought against them. Pushed and kicked and beaten them away until they no longer existed.

But at what cost?

“Say what you want about me, but you played a part in this too,” I whisper, the pain from his cuts causing me to lash out in return. “We might’ve done some shit, but the only reason we ever got this far was because we were forced together by you.”

A scoff leaves him. “Then why am I only finding out about the first Kappa Sig party now? Because I’m pretty sure I have nothing to do with what happened between you twothatnight.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him it was a mistake. Hell, if I’d told him about sleeping with Holden immediately after it happened, I’m positive that’s exactly what I would’ve said.

So much has changed since then, though, and saying that now is nothing more than another lie.

Nothing about being with Holden is a mistake. Nothing about himfeelslike one…apart from how it’s destroying a decade-old friendship right before my eyes. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t be if I’d just been honest from the beginning. This could’ve all been avoided.

But it’s too late to turn back now and see if it’d play out differently.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what happened back in May. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Florida and—”

“But you’re not sorry, Phoe! That’s the whole fucking point. I can see it written all over your face.” His eyes darken from an emerald to a deep forest as he stares at me, more angry than hurt now. “You’re not sorry about what happened with Holden, you’re just sorry you got caught stealing him in the first place.”

This time, the words hit me like a bullet to the chest, knocking the wind out of me. Only no matter how much they hurt—how much guilt and regret courses through me for the pain I’m causing my best friend, I can’t help the one thought circling through my head.

It’s not stealing if he’s meant to be mine.

But it does nothing to ease the guilt I’ve been working so hard to diminish.

“Except I really am sorry, Kase. I don’t think you understand how much.” My fingers link together behind my head as the aching, tormented feeling starts seeping back in through the chinks in my armor. “You’re my best friend. I’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you, yet all I’ve been doing is protecting myself.”

Kason grabs the back of his neck, eyes lifting to the ceiling in what looks to be a silent prayer. “When are you gonna stop acting like I constantly need you as some sort of guardian and savior? I told you months ago, we’re not kids anymore. I can fight my own battles; I can win my own wars.”

“If that’s so true, why am I even here?” I toss my arms out to the sides, guilt again giving way to frustration. “If you don’t need me, then why did you ask me to come to Leighton in the first place?”

“And we’re back to this again?” he asks, tone snide and defensive as his focus snaps back to me.

“Of course we are, Kase! Because in one breath, you’re sitting here saying you don’t need me to protect you, but in the next, you’re treating me like a security blanket or a fucking crutch to lean on.”

His lips part slightly, and I’m prepared for whatever blow he wants to land next. But I watch as, right before my eyes, all his anger dissipates in the blink of an eye. In its place is nothing but anguish.

And it cuts me deeper than any words ever could.

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