Page 53 of Love and Memories

His mood had just started to look up, but not even a night at Barn Sour with his friends could help him now.

20

ISABELLA

The shrill alarm blared into the room again, and Bella snoozed it. She had to be ready for work soon, and rushing first thing in the morning always made her head hurt.

Bella slowly blinked her dry eyes, trying to focus on the room she currently called home. Piece by piece, the reality she knew clicked into place.

She was staying with a new friend, but she was technically homeless.

She had a job, but not the one she’d held before her injury.

She hadn’t remembered more than a few key points of her life after graduating from high school.

She’d made a friend named Travis, but she would lose him soon if she hadn’t already.

She was pregnant, and she was more lost than ever.

Sitting up, she stretched her arms and legs before resting her feet on the floor. Anna had encouraged Bella to “pray without ceasing” ever since they met, and she’d finally taken the advice to heart. God was going to get really tired of hearing from her, butshe found praying was the only thing that calmed her restless heart.

Dragging her feet to the bathroom that connected to her room, she stepped up to the mirror and turned on the faucet. She stuck her hands under the flowing water and let the cold shock her into wakefulness before rubbing the water over her face.

When she dried her face and opened her eyes, a woman she didn’t recognize looked back at her. Was this who she was now? Hollow cheeks, shadows beneath her eyes, and a pale color that left her looking sickly.

At best, she looked tired. At worst, she looked weak. She was both and nothing else.

She reached for the prenatal vitamin she’d been instructed to take and swallowed it with a gulp of water she drank from her hand. The bones in her shoulders were prominent, and the light-brown scar on her shoulder stood out against her white skin.

Running her fingertips over it, she remembered the night her dad had shoved her against a window. The thin glass shattered against her skin, embedding a shard an inch into her flesh.

The pain in her shoulder was difficult to remember, but her dad’s fury still burned white hot in her memory. He blamed her for the broken window, he’d hated her cries, and he’d refused to let her mom take her to get the gash stitched up.

The result was a bulging scar from a wound half-healed through the glue her mom had used to close it up.

It was another memory she’d been allowed to keep through all of this. Another reminder that she’d suffered but endured. Whatever her life had been like after leaving her parents’ house, it had to be better than what she’d grown up in.

Bella turned slightly and checked the scar she’d found on the back of her arm. It was longer than the other scar and healed much cleaner. She had no idea where it had come from, but itwas too old to be from her recent injury. It was an artifact from her past that led to a dead end.

Would she ever find out where it came from? Did she even want to know? If it represented more abuse from her dad, she’d rather go on without knowing.

Even if she never remembered her past, would it be so bad to start over here in Blackwater? Could she make a new life here–one that would be good for her and her child?

Maybe losing her memories was God’s way of saving her and her unborn baby. Whatever His path for her might hold, she had to trust it.

Pushing aside all of the unanswered questions, she stepped into the hot shower and allowed the scalding water to wash away the doubt and dread.

Getting ready to work on a ranch didn’t require fancy clothing or a cute hairstyle, which was good because she had zero extra energy for making herself look nice. What she’d first thought was tiredness from her head injury now made sense. She was in the first trimester of a pregnancy, and not only was her body trying to heal, but it was also growing a tiny human.

The whole idea still seemed inconceivable. A living, breathing person started from a few small cells. The book Anna gave her about pregnancy and what to expect only magnified her fascination with the growth happening inside her.

The only way it made sense to her was to attribute the intricate and perfect creation to God. There was no other way she could make sense of it.

With her thrift store jeans and T-shirt and her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she picked up her phone and started for the kitchen. The blank screen left a gaping hole in her chest. Travis had called quite a few times, but she hadn’t worked up the courage to answer. She’d finally hit rock bottom last night, andAnna had offered to reach out to him to ask if Bella could get a ride to work.

She would have to face him soon. What would she say?

“Hi. Just in case you thought this situation wasn’t crazy enough, I’m pregnant. Oh, and I have no idea who the father is.”

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