Page 110 of Love and Memories

The air around them turned thick, and the breath she inhaled shuddered. “You should leave me alone. I’m not in any danger now.”

She was a liability–a stray who only caused trouble for anyone who tried to help her. People who cared about her only got hurt.

Travis grabbed the bag of food out of the back seat and got out. He rounded the truck to her side, but she was already climbing out. Steadying her with a hand on her arm, he kept her close until they were locked inside.

He put the food on the table and came back to help her out of her coat. His hands pressed on her shoulders, turning her to face him.

But she couldn’t look him in the eye. The horror of what she’d done still choked the life out of her, and looking into Travis’s kind eyes was too great a contrast from her own guilt.

The tears welled and overflowed as he pressed her to his chest. They came in jerking sobs as she gasped through her cries.

Travis held her, spreading his strong hands over her back. After a few minutes of her uninhibited tears, Travis released her for a moment before bending to cradle her in his arms. She heldonto his shoulders, but nothing touched the gaping hole in her chest. The cold void only widened, threatening to swallow her whole.

Travis sat on the couch and held her on his lap. He covered her completely. His arms wrapped around her middle. His chest anchored her to his quiet strength. His bearded cheek rested against hers. She clung to his neck as if the ground below her would open up and drag her down to the pits of hell where she belonged.

“You should leave me,” she whispered.

Travis’s warm breath brushed over her hair as he spoke. “Nothing you can say or do will drive me away.”

“But I–”

Travis lifted his head and pressed the pad of his thumb over her lips, effectively cutting off her protest.

“I’ll never leave you. I’m going to love you like you’ve never been loved before, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

The intensity in his dark eyes hit her square in the chest. This man was serious. He really would stand by her even after all she’d done.

“You don’t even know what I did,” Bella countered.

“I know enough. You can tell me the rest when you’re ready. Asa said you won’t be arrested or anything until there is some kind of proof and a trial. Those things won’t happen tonight or even this month.”

He smoothed a hand over her rounding belly. Four and a half months pregnant, and she’d officially grown out of any regular-sized pants she owned.

Travis rested his forehead against hers. “I know you’re scared, but I’m going to do everything in my power to help you. I trust Camille and Asa. I don’t know the officers working on this case back in Omaha, but I have to trust that anyone who hurt you will get what’s coming to them.”

“That’s the thing. I–”

“Don’t want anyone to suffer,” Travis finished. “I know you, Bella. You’re not a murderer. If that man is dead, it’s because you had no other choice. I believe that with every certainty.”

“You’re wrong. I was angry. He raped me. I wanted to kill him.”

The words came out like venom, spitting and gnashing of teeth. She remembered the fury. It was all crystal clear in her past.

Travis released the tight grip he had on her arms. “I wanted him dead too. I guess that means we’re both guilty.”

She shook her head. “We’re not the same.”

“Then I wish it had been me. I wish I could save you from this guilt.”

“No,” she whispered, unable to look up at him.

Travis brushed her hair behind her ear with a gentleness she couldn’t even possess on her own right now. “But you’ve changed since you came here, haven’t you?” he asked. Somehow, the question didn’t hold even a hint of judgment.

The tension in her shoulders melted away. He was right. She was different now. She was free of a life of evil, and her heart was fully turned toward Jesus. She knew Him now. She wanted to be like Him.

That was why she couldn’t feel glad that her abuser was dead. Because no matter what he’d done to her, she knew how to forgive now, and she knew she had to do it.

She had to forgive Gunner because she needed to ask the Lord for her own forgiveness. The order of those things were clear.

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