Page 4 of Love and Memories

God, protect her.

God, help me.

God, I need You.

The prayers were set on repeat in his head, but it wasn’t enough. He could feel the truth settling in. He was going to lose her. Her pulse was wavering, and she’d already drained a saline bag.

No. He couldn’t lose her. It wasn’t an option.

The vehicle came to a stop, and Matt opened the double doors at the back. Travis was grasping for anything to stabilize her as the hospital personnel assisted in the transfer.

Soon, the woman was out of the ambulance, and an energetic female nurse with a tablet strapped to her arm stepped up to Travis’s side. He answered the questions for transfer on autopilot.

“She doesn’t have identification,” he added.

The nurse didn’t look up. It was fairly common that a patient needed medical care without being able to provide an identity. The hospital would get the information eventually and pass italong to the fire department. Still, it bothered Travis that he didn’t know enough about the woman.

So far, no one had shown up looking for her. How long would she be alone?

“I think we have everything,” the nurse said. “We’ll be in touch with insurance information and identification later.”

Matt slapped a hand on Travis’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get cleaned up.”

Travis looked down at his uniform. There were multiple blood spots, but his hands were clean after removing the gloves to sign the transfer paperwork.

He followed Matt out to the vehicle in a fog. Could he have done more? Should he have done something else?

“Stop what you’re doing,” Matt said as they pulled out into the road headed back to the fire station. “You did all you could.”

That was exactly what Matt was supposed to say, but it didn’t ease Travis’s worries. “There was way too much blood.”

“They’ll get her a transfusion.”

“That might not work,” Travis reminded him.

“You can’t think like that.”

“But I am. She was so young.”

Matt paused and took a deep breath. “You’re going to have to let it go. We can’t dwell on cases.”

Travis rubbed his hands over his face. Matt was right. As crazy as it seemed, thinking of patients as cases or victims instead of people was one way to maintain that emotional distance they needed.

By the time they pulled back up at the station, checklists held all of his attention. Sanitizing, restocking, and the complete equipment reset took up a good chunk of the morning.

Travis meant to take his time in the shower, scrubbing every inch of his skin, but the silence only allowed thoughts of the woman to creep back in. Once he was sufficiently clean, hestepped out of the bathroom to the warm smell of cooking bacon coming from the kitchen. A few of the other men hung out around the bar.

“Morning, sunshine!” Lucas shouted with his arms spread wide. The guy was the epitome of an annoying morning person, and he liked to cook a full breakfast for everyone whenever there was a lull between calls.

“Morning.”

“How was the mystery woman?” Lucas asked as he flipped bacon in a skillet.

Travis glanced at Matt who slid a finger across his throat, signaling for Lucas to cut to another subject.

“I mean… How do you like your eggs?” Lucas asked.

“Scrambled.” Just like Travis’s head at the moment.

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