MAY
I stepthrough the doors to Rosemary Cottage and take a deep breath. A breath full of fresh air. No smoke, no cinders, only fresh cool air floating up from the sea. I’ve missed this place so much.
I grab one of the boxes that Rafael carelessly dumped at the front door and bring it inside, placing it on the new kitchen counter.
The kitchen looks the same, but different. There are new wooden countertops, new duck egg blue cabinets made to look the same as the ones they replaced. You wouldn’t even know they were different with a quick glance, but I notice the scratches and dings that no longer dent the wooden panels.
A new oven—that’s probably the one thing I’m happy about being replaced. And new hooks, just where my old ones were. Marina must have gone to the antique store in town and got some more. It makes my insides melt that she thought of me like that. It was never originally here, just something I added for myself.
I hear the rumbling of a motorbike approaching through the open front door. I walk over to it, leaning my hip against the frame as I look at Marina and Isla approaching on Marina’s bike. I chuckle when I think about the fit Caio would throw if he knew Isla was riding on the back of Marina’s bike.
“How’s the puppy dog feel about you riding that thing?” I ask as they both lay their helmets on the handles of the bike.
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Isla shrugs.
“Oh, you’re looking for trouble, aren’t you?”
She shakes her head, laughing as they approach me. I smile back at her. I probably look like a maniac based on how big it is, because I know something she doesn't know, and I know it's happening soon.
“How does it feel to be back?” Marina wraps me in a hug.
“I forgot how much I love this place.”
“Were you getting comfortable in Rafael’s cushy mansion?”
“Definitely not,” I say as I follow them inside. “That place is eerie. It’s too quiet. Going to the bathroom at night gave me the heebie-jeebies.”
Marina chuckles. “Yeah, I never quite knew why he made such dramatic changes when he renovated the place. You’d never know it’s the same place he used to live in with his nonna.” That gives me pause.
“Wait, that’s his nonna’s old house?” He never said.
“Mm-hmm. He renovated it when she died. Don’t get me wrong, the place is cool, just very different.”
I feel the puzzle pieces falling together in my mind. No wonder he renovated it so drastically. Between his own house and the restaurant, his entire life was filled with reminders of the past. I can understand wanting to do anything you can to scrub yourself free of the past. I just cut my hair and moved across the world instead of renovating my house.
“How was the fishing trip?” Isla asks.
Howwasthe fishing trip? Good question.
“Well, I didn’t catch any fish.” Both of their eyes settle on me, waiting for any other crumbs I might feed them about what happened over the last two days, but I can’t say it. I can’t watch their faces light up. I can’t tell them how it felt unlike anything I’ve experienced with anyone else, how it felt like more, and how that’s precisely why it can never happen again.
“It was boring. Rafael caught a few fish, but apart from that, there’s nothing to report.” I’m not confident about where those fish wound up. I never saw him do anything with them…
I don’t tell them about the waterfall. About the way his skin singed mine, even in the freezing water. About how he opened up to me, and then opened me up, split me in half before I shut it all down.
“Oh my god!” Isla squeals. “Where did you get this cutie?” She pulls my whale mug from the box I left on the counter.
My heart flips as I think of the night Rafael gave it to me, the night we shared hot chocolates with mini marshmallows. The first night where it felt like things really changed between us. That feels like so long ago now, so far from where we now stand, wherever that is.
“Rafael got it for me.” I don’t know if I should’ve lied and said I got it myself, but it’s too late now.
“Cute,” she responds, and Marina just eyes me.
“So, what are you guys doing here?”
Isla hangs Whaley up on a hook, the start of a new collection. “Well, we thought we’d help you settle back in.”
Marina grabs a book from the same box. “Lord knows you couldn’t get all your books on your shelves without some help.”