Page 73 of Burn for You

I bristle in my seat.

“The way you look at her is almost like you’re waiting for something to happen.” I bring the bottle to my lips once again. Not having the energy to argue with my best friend about this again.

He swivels in his seat to look at me. “Unless something already has?”

“Nothing worth getting excited about.”

The words sound foreign coming out of my mouth, considering just how excited my body was when I finally got my hands on her. Or how disappointment racked through my body when she said I would never get to do it again. And then she texted me back, telling me she was thinking of me. It was dumb of me to send her that text. But she wasn’t supposed to respond. I wasn’t supposed to hit call and listen to her come through the line as I came on the other end.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. She is confusing the fuck out of me with her hot and cold.

“But something?” Caio asks.

I shake my head, because no, not something. Nothing. No strings attached. No repeats. Nothing.

I hate how sour I feel about it. I have done no strings attached before, plenty of times. So why can’t I accept it this time? Why is it that I feel attached to the one girl who is so flighty she won’t sleep with the same guy twice? The one girl who’s been taught since birth not to trust men.

I used to be the guy who would cut the strings, the exact person her mother warned her to stay away from. I have no right to feel the way I do about her, but I can’t help it.

The way I feel when I’m around May already includes so many strings, and I don’t want to entangle any more. I don’t want to be the one who’s left with the strings cut. I’ve lost too many people in my life. I don’t want to lose another one, and maybe that’s why I’ve always been able to do no strings. I don’t want to be attached to anyone else. I don’t want someone else to miss when they’re gone. But with May, I’m not sure that I have any control over it. She’s an addiction, a poison that I’m willingly guzzling. The more time I spend around her, the more I struggle to keep my desires at bay, but I can’t stop myself from spending time with her. I can’t stop wanting to see the tiny rays of sunshine that peek through the clouds when she smiles at me. The sunshine that has always been reserved for everyone but me. But now that I’ve had a glimpse behind that wall, I just want to tear it down.

But now I’m not sure if she even wants to talk to me. She’s been avoiding me, and all it’s doing is making me feel insane. Doing everything in my power to press that feeling down, but failing miserably.

But I’m sick of pushing it down, trying to suppress the one thing that makes me feel alive. I don’t want to dull this feeling; I don’t want to feel number than I already do. I know as badly as she wants to, May can’t dull it either, she just needs to realize it.

Caio grabs the bottle from my grip. “You know, if you ever want to talk about thatnothing, I’m around.”

I look over to him and his blue eyes pierce mine with sincerity. “Thank you.”

He smiles, looking back at his girl who’s now deafening everyone from the stage, not making it all feel too serious.

Caio always knows when to push and when to let things lie, and I appreciate it. Especially as my mind begins to soften around the edges, courtesy of the nearly empty bottle of whiskey Caio places on the bar top.

“I think I’m gonna go dance with my fiancée before she collapses for the night. You gonna go dance with your girl?” He asks, slipping off of his stool.

I swipe the whiskey off the top. “I don’t have a girl.”

Not yet anyway.

chapter twenty-seven

MAY

I laughas I skip down the empty streets of Ruby Cove hand in hand with my best friend. My fingers grazing the gigantic rock that is now sitting on her ring finger every now and then.

I can’t help but feel so utterly happy for Isla, some might say it’s quick for her and Caio to get engaged after only eight months of knowing each other. Hell, if it was any other guy I’d be performing some kind of intervention, but anyone with eyes can see that those two are meant to be together.

Marina gasps from where she’s walking ahead of us, turning around to face us with a glorious look on her face. “I know what we should do.”

Her eyes look so bright in the dark night, the dim light from the few streetlamps lighting our way as we walk along Main. The sound of the waves crashing against the rock wall beside us makes me want to dive straight into the water and swim until my lungs run out of air. Let the cool water absorb all the heat from my body.

The air is cold out tonight, the boys all have their jackets on, but mine is…somewhere? Not on me. My alcohol blanket is wrapped around my shoulders instead, warming me from the inside out.

“Go home to bed?” Caio asks, dragging Isla back into his chest.

“No!” Marina yells, even though he’s not that far from her. She looks around, checking that the coast is clear, before scurrying over to us. “We should go to the ice-skating rink!” she whisper-shouts. Those tequila shots from earlier adding to the drama of her suggestion.

An ice-skating rink has been set up in the park since the start of December, but I haven't had a chance to go check it out yet.

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