Page 60 of Back in the Saddle

“Do you think your mam will enjoy a day out with us?”

“Yes, she’ll love spending the day with Isabelle.”

All I could hope was that she would play nice. She seemed to push Taylor’s buttons a lot.

“OK. I’ll ask Isabelle.”

“A new dress, a day off school, time with you. I doubt she’d say no.”

Taylor kissed me softly. “Thank you for your support. Will you be OK to cover my jobs today?”

“Shouldn’t be a problem. The feed runs will take a little longer and I can shuffle a couple of people around. One day won’t kill us.”

She rolled out of bed. “I’m going to see if Isabelle’s awake.”

I sat up and swung my legs out of bed. “Looks like we won’t be kissing and making up this morning.”

She smirked. “I was just thinking of your well-being.” She leant down to kiss me.

“Getting it on three times in twenty-four hours might be a bit much for you.”

“Nice of you to care.”

“Rest up for later. I’m going to see Isabelle.”

And with that, she was gone. My dick may have been disappointed, but my heart was happy. She was excited to spend time with Isabelle and she’d said ‘later’ with such confidence I had no doubt we were on the road to recovery.

22

Taylor

Ciaron was right. Isabelle jumped at the chance to go dress shopping. And Mum and Mary were all too happy to join us.

“It was so good of Ciaron to give you the day off,” Mary said.

I gripped the steering wheel. She didn’t say how good it had been for me to give him a day off. “The whole day was his idea, actually.”

And I loved him for it. Every day, I loved him more. I’m sure he had doubts about whether we could make it work, but not once did I feel them from him. Every day he gave me more. And when I’d told him how my talk had gone with Isabelle, he’d reminded me that actions speak louder than words. And he hadn’t been accusatory. He’d simply said it to help me, to help us.

“Ciaron has always been a good boy. Always helpful and caring. That’s how you met, wasn’t it? He thought you needed saving?” Mary said from the backseat.

I rolled my eyes and then noticed Isabelle watching me in the mirror. I held my tongue, like always. Ciaron did save me that day because of the person he was, but that wasn’t why we’d met. He didn’t look at me and think I’d needed saving. And I didn’t beg him to help me. I wasn’t some damsel in distress. Unlike her. How many days did she cry when he was leaving, begging him to stay because she couldn’t do it all alone? Perhaps she should have thought of that before she’d had so many children to all those different men who couldn’t, or wouldn’t, step up to the father plate.

How many times had Ciaron been both father and mother to his brothers? When he was just nine, she’d left him alone to look after his one-year-old brother Seamus for weeks. She’d left a nine-year-old to look after a baby. She did the same with Ronan, Billy and Tommy. Ciaron had looked after all of them. And not just on her little trips away, but when she was home as well.

There was no way in hell he was going to let those boys be taken away and separated. He got smarter each time. He’d hide food in the back of the cupboard so they could eat in the time she was away, and he took small amounts of money and put that away too. He was a fucking child looking after children while she went out and had a good time.

He gave those boys more love than he’d ever received. And never received any recognition for it. She’d never thanked him. Nothing.

I needed to let it go. Being judgemental was not helping me.

I took a deep breath and let the silence stretch out. It would be safer if I didn’t answer.

Isabelle faced Mary. “They didn’t meet because Mum needed saving, Mamo. But Mum fell in love with Dad because of it.”

Twice in two days she’d stuck up for me. I don’t know if she’d read her Mamo’s intentions or whether she was simply saying it the way it was, but it was reassuring. It gave me hope that shesaw the good in me. I don’t know if Mary never saw the good in me because she was threatened by me or she thought I wasn’t enough for Ciaron. I didn’t have the same issue with his father.

Ciaronand I walked into a large room with grey chairs and tables bolted to the floor. He guided me to a table where a man sat on his own wearing a white t-shirt and blue pants. There were other prisoners in the room dressed similarly. Three guards were standing near the walls.

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