Page 16 of Back in the Saddle

“I’m not fucking going back to Ireland.” My jaw clenched as I glowered at Taylor. “Stop filling the kids’ head with shit. I’m not your father; I’m not leaving my kids or my home.”

Lorraine snorted. “Your mother may think differently once she sees you’ve broken up. She’s always had this pipedream that you’ll return home.”

Just the thought of my mother finding out made me sweat. “I’m not telling her. It’s not something she needs to know.”

Taylor’s arms tightened across her chest. “You’re not telling her?”

I exhaled sharply. “This is all new. I want to figure out what my new normal is before I tell her. I don’t need her in my ear.”

Lorraine’s hands went to her hips. “I think she will figure it out herself when she arrives in two days.”

“What?” Taylor and I said in unison.

Lorraine grimaced. She couldn’t be serious. This could not be happening. My mother was coming here?

I ran my hand down my face. “Are you sure? I didn’t think she had a passport or the money for airfare.”

Loraine laughed and shook her head. “Those kids probably paid. They offered to pay for me too.”

“With what money?” I asked.

“Their savings.”

Taylor glanced at me. “Must be the money they were saving for a car.”

My brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts. My mother and I had a difficult relationship, which was successful only because I lived overseas and was married to Taylor. Taylor protected me and my sanity. If she was coming here and my relationship with Taylor was in tatters, this visit would not end well.

8

Taylor

Iwatched as Ciaron’s face turned white. I’d read about it in books, but I’d never seen it happen in real life. He paced from one side of the office to the other, pausing, shaking his head and then resuming.

I wanted to go to him and hug him to tell him it would be alright. But I was not that person for him anymore. I remained where I was and watched.

His mother always had this effect on him, even from half a world away. I don’t know how many times she’d asked him to help her or one of his siblings. And he did every single time. It was like he was repenting for leaving them.

He stopped pacing, his shoulders sagging, and retreated to his office.

My chest squeezed. His mother always hinted at him going back home one day. Like he would come to his senses or something. Or like he would fall out of love with me, which is exactly what had happened. That was probably why he hadn’t told her about our separation. There were many times where Iwished he’d stick up for himself. I wanted him to tell her to fuck off because he’d never get the type of love from her that he should. Mum embraced him and gave him that love time and again, something his own mother could never do.

Mum and I stared at his empty doorway.

“Come on, let’s go for a drive,” Mum said.

Mum and I sat beside each other as we drove around the farm and spoke about the different horses. We stopped outside of Dior’s paddock. She would be going back out into a share paddock soon with other dry mares.

“What did the vet find?” Mum asked.

“It was umbilical torsion. The umbilical cord was long, and it twisted around the foetus, cutting off its oxygen.”

Mum got out of the car and went to the fence, calling Dior. I followed. Dior trotted over for a pat. I smiled. She must be missing the company of other horses. Usually, she didn’t care about humans unless they had food.

Mum stroked her nose. “Ciaron is right. He’s not like your father.”

“I suppose.”

Mum’s jaw hardened. “He’s always there to support you and the children. Your father wouldn’t have helped you with your schoolwork or done half the things Ciaron does.”

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