Page 7 of Rediscovering Rubi

“I do remember. You were always so great with aftercare.”

“I plan to be again. And we need to talk about it all. We haven’t negotiated kink play in years, and we both need to know how we feel about it now. Are you okay handling negotiations while we eat?”

“Yes, sure,” she answered, not really feeling entirely certain about her answer. But it was going to have to happen at some point. She had no idea why it made her nervous.

He sat down and poured his own coffee—black, as always—and removed the covers from the platters holding eggs sunny-side up, crisp bacon, English muffins, creamy yogurt, and bowls of fruit.

“That’s quite a breakfast.”

“You didn’t eat much dinner last night, so I ordered a little bit of everything. Here, babe, have some bacon,” he said, spearing a couple of pieces and putting them on her plate, along with an egg and some fruit before loading his own plate.

“So,” she started, feeling as if she needed to jump right in before she overthought herself into silence. “Where do we even begin with negotiations?”

“Back to the basics, I think.” He washed a bite of English muffin down with his coffee. “I say we start right at the beginning, as if we’d never played before.”

She nodded as she popped a fresh berry into her mouth.

He took another sip of coffee, then cradled the cup in his big hands.

“We’ve agreed to come here knowing the goal was to scene in the Dungeon rooms, which to me indicates an interest and a willingness. Is that a correct assumption?”

“Yes,” she answered carefully. “I mean, I’ve never lost interest in the idea of kink. I’ve thought about it a lot over the years.”

“You have, babe?” he asked, one dark brow arching. “How did I not know that?”

“You’ve never looked at my bookshelf?”

“What? Your bookshelf?”

“Uh, yes, my bookshelf. I read a lot of BDSM romance. Had to keep myself busy all those years you were away. And had to try to maintain some sense of who I was aside from being a wife and a mom, and I couldn’t let my job teaching English be my entire personality, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense, but, babe, we could have tried it before now if I’d known.”

“Maybe? I don’t know. Life has been so busy for the last fifteen or twenty years. And maybe it’s more important now to focus on what we’ll be together going forward.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Well then, let’s get down to it.” He paused, cleared his throat, and it was only then she realized he might be a bit nervous, too. “I feel like the dynamic, the power play, is still there, like it was waiting for us to reactivate it. I felt it last night.”

“So did I,” she agreed, a warm shiver running over her skin as she remembered him calling her “good girl”.

“I’d like to just jump in. I know it may seem like a lot, but I feel like being tentative will only sidetrack us.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay, but…?”

She let out a short laugh. “I have to admit that makes me nervous as hell.”

He reached across the table and laid a hand over hers. “Babe. I’m pretty sure you know I’m right. If we try to tip-toe our way into this, if I give you time to think about it too much, you’re either gonna shy off and run from it, or you’ll just shut down completely.”

Her stomach started to tie into a small knot, but half of it was nerves, and the other half was excitement. She knew exactly what she had to do.

Had to.

“You’re right. And Logan, I think in order to really do this, I have to just turn it all over to you. I trust you; that’s never been in question. But right now I’m too much in my head,” she admitted, pushing past the nervous part that was trying to shove its way to the forefront. “So, I’ll say this so we can skip some of the beginning question and answer part: All of my old hard limits are still in place. Nothing too hard-core, like needle play, or fire, or knives. No electrical play, no whips or canes, and I don’t want to ever be gagged. No humiliation, of course, and praise and reassurance are going to be big for me. I have no idea what I can take these days in terms of impact play, but I trust you to walk through it with me and help me to figure it out. You know I loved wearing cuffs, being bound. I think I still will. But otherwise, I will leave it up to you because you know me so well.”

“I did, babe. But I know both of our bodies have changed, and the way we think, too. I’m going to need you to really communicate when we play. I need you to promise me that you will.”

“I will, I promise. Sir,” she added, just to feel the word roll off her tongue. She was only a little surprised when her nipples went hard and her body heated in response.

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