Page 43 of Rediscovering Rubi

Yeah, this is what I need.

But tonight there was more to it. His heart was still beating so hard, and he realized he was shaking a little. And his lovely wife, the most amazing woman he knew, pulled the throw blanket from the back of the chair and wrapped it around them both.

“For you, Sir,” she whispered in his ear, then her arms went around his neck and she kissed his lips before laying her head on his chest. “We can stay here until your heart stops beating so hard, love,” she said. “We can stay here as long as you need to.”

They sat like that for what felt like a long time while he breathed her in, gloried in her scent and the weight of her sweet body in his lap. In her intention to care for him.

This was everything.

Everything.

CHAPTER 10

It was their last day at Rawhide Ranch, and Rubi found herself not wanting to leave. It had been the most incredible experience of her life, and she and Logan were in such a solid place.

The day was bright, the sky the most brilliant blue, the sun reflecting off the snow, and they’d bundled up to take a walk together. They held hands as they moved toward the foothills behind the barn, their boots crunching in the snow.

“It’s so peaceful out here,” Logan said.

“It is. I love this place. Can we come back every year?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I was thinking the same thing. It’s been so good for both of us. And we’ve made some real friends here.”

“We have. I’m really going to miss Claudia and Reese. I’ve been getting to know Sadie, too, and she’s just the sweetest. And I feel like your friendship with Master Derek has been so good for you.”

“It has. He and Arrow are the first guys I’ve really been able to talk to, you know? On that deeper level, where I don’t have to hide any part of myself. That’s been an important part of it.”

She stopped and turned to him. “And no more hiding yourself from me either, right, babe?”

He smiled down at her. Her blue eyes were the same color as the Montana sky, and he felt so much love for this woman. “No more. At least, I’ll do my best not to. Feel free to call me on it when I inevitably do, though.”

She grinned. “You know I will. So, what now? What happens when we get home?”

“Well, I was thinking we should look for a local kink group to join. Would you be up for public play again, do you think?”

“Maybe. I’m really not sure yet. If I feel comfortable enough with the group, it’s a possibility, and honestly, I think it might be good for other women my age to see us play. Maybe it’ll help someone else not to feel so self-conscious about getting older in the kink scene.”

“Baby, I love that you’re thinking about other people and wanting to share what you’ve learned here,” he told her. “But just know that if you change your mind and want us to only play at home, I’m good with that, too.”

They walked for a few minutes quietly, then she asked him, “Do you remember our wedding? God, we were so young. I was only twenty, the age Gabe is now. And you must have been twenty-one. Practically kids.”

“Yeah, we were. But we had such a firm idea of what our future together would look like. And we both pursued our dreams. You got your Masters in English. I attained my ranks in the Air Force, got to fly planes for a living. And we had our kids. Maddie and Gabe are our biggest accomplishments.”

“We really managed to accomplish so much, didn’t we? But, Logan? Do you think part of the problem, maybe for both of us, is that we feel like… there’s nothing left for us to accomplish?”

He paused, thinking. She could see it in his deep brown eyes, like shadow and light flashing all at once.

Finally he said, “Our kids are still a work in progress. I think Gabe especially, at twenty, thinks he’s got it all figured out, buthe still has a lot to learn. And Maddie… she’s only nineteen. How did we let her fly off to London for fashion school when she could have stayed in the US, gone to school in LA or New York?”

“I know. I worry about them every day. But you’re right; they’re both works in progress. And they’ll still need us, even if it’s only once in a while. But I’ve been thinking about this a lot—aboutusa lot—and there has to be something aside from being parents, aside from our careers, that makes us… well,us. Who we are together, and just as people.”

He nodded. “Yeah. You’re right. In a way, we kinda need to start over again. That’s why I wanted to come here. We needed to rediscover ourselves, as individuals, and as a couple. We needed to find new ways to thrive, with me being retired, and us both being empty nesters. I know you still have your job after your sabbatical this year is over, but to be honest, baby, I’ve been feeling like I have… nothing. Like Iamnothing, if I’m not in the Air Force. It’s helped to talk it out with Arrow, in particular, but that feeling is still there.”

“Oh, babe. You’ll always have that; the military will always be a huge chunk of who you are, whether you’re actively serving or not. You did your time, and you deserve to rest. But I understand you feeling a bit lost. It’s pretty common when someone retires, and I do think it’s even harder for someone who’s lived a life of service. I’m wondering… is there anything you can do, some sort of volunteer work, maybe, that’ll give you a sense of serving your community?”

“Derek suggested the same thing to me. How would you feel about me going for training as a volunteer firefighter?”

“Well, you know I’d worry. But I’d also be so damn proud, Logan.”

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