Page 38 of Rediscovering Rubi

He wrapped her up in his arms, dragging her closer, and deepened the kiss. Her mouth was so damn sweet as she melted into his arms. He loved that she was so instantly pliant. So muchhis. As much as his mind was whirling with these not-so-new ideas he’d been fighting for years, probably, it still didn’t hamper the thrill at the taste of her, the scent of her perfume. Her sweet body under his hands.

He pulled back to sweep her sweater over her head, and she smiled as he unfastened her bra and took her gorgeous tits in his palms.

“My turn, babygirl,” he told her.

She laughed, a low, husky sound, and he could tell from that and her hard, dark-pink nipples that she was as turned on as he was. It didn’t take much for either of them since they’d arrived at the Ranch.

He bent to take one nipple in his mouth, and she held his head there, her fingers digging into his scalp as she moaned. His dick was getting hard, then harder, the more he sucked.

“Yes, Logan. I need you to fuck me, please.”

He pulled away from her luscious nipple. “Whatever my girl wants right now, my girl gets,” he said before pushing her gently onto her back on the couch.

She smiled up at him as he kicked his way out of his boots, then his jeans, then tore his shirt over his head. He slipped his boxer briefs off and she reached out for his cock, and it swelled in her hand as she stroked him, pleasure rolling over him.

“Take my jeans off and fuck me now, Sir?” she asked, batting her long lashes.

“Lord, you make me happy,” he told her before he got her naked and lowered his body over hers, then slipped inside her wet, waiting pussy. Her tight core clenched at his rigid shaft like a smooth glove, filling his whole body with pleasure. “I’m gonna fuck you like this so I can suck your tits and kiss your mouth, baby. Then I’m gonna turn you over and fuck you from behind while I spank your delectable ass.”

“Yes, Logan. Do it,” she said, her voice already a breathless pant.

As he surged into her, over and over, nothing had ever felt as good as this woman he’d loved forever, loved so deeply. He swore to himself never to forget about that again.

CHAPTER 9

Logan found Arrow and Derek sitting at a table in the back of the café.

“I hope I didn’t leave you guys waiting too long for me,” he said, glancing down at his Apple watch.

“No, no, we got here about an hour ago to go over the schedule and just catch up,” Derek said. “Come on and sit down.”

He did, and a waiter came right away and took his drink order, then came back with his iced tea a minute later. They all perused the menu, then put in their lunch orders before getting down to conversation.

“So, you were Army?” Logan started.

“Yep. I served for fifteen years,” Arrow answered. “Best and hardest years of my life, which I’m sure you understand. And you’re Air Force?”

He nodded. “Since I got out of college. I got my degree, graduated early, and it was sort of a calling for me.”

“Yeah, I get that. It was for me, too. Had you already met your wife then?”

“Rubi and I met while we were in college. She was a year behind me, and we got married as soon as I graduated. It wasrough on her when I went away, but she handled it all like a champ. I know it wasn’t easy on her.”

“I’m sure she’s damn proud of you,” Derek said.

“I know she is. Rubi is a really special woman; always has been. And to be honest, I know I’ve been kind of an ass since I retired. I’ve been impatient. Grumpy, at times. Lacking in motivation to do much more than take care of the house, the yard, the cars. She’s had the patience of a saint, but it’s taken a toll, even if she doesn’t complain about it. I knew it would be a hard transition for me leaving the service, but I had no idea how hard. And I didn’t really have enough distance from myself to realize to what degree I haven’t been my best self. Not until we came to the Ranch. I regret the hell out of it.”

“I don’t think any of us know how rough leaving the military will be until we get there,” Arrow said. “I was injured pretty badly in the line of duty, and it ended my career early. And I was pissed. A part of me still is, to be honest—I’m still working on that, and probably always will be. But I also felt guilty as hell that I was no longer serving my country. The military is its own kind of complicated mindfuck. We expect so damn much of ourselves, especially career military, and if anything gets in the way of that, it warps our self-perception.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely going through some of that since I retired,” Logan agreed. “I feel… lost. Like I don’t know any more what my place in the world is. And I know it’s affecting my relationship with my wife. She was so looking forward to me retiring and us getting to spend more time together, maybe travel a bit, but I haven’t been myself. It’s part of the reason why we came to the Ranch, although I didn’t actually realize it until we got here. I had myself convinced this trip was all for Rubi’s sake, for her to rebuild her self-esteem as we reconnected. But I have at least as much work to do as she does. Probably more if I’m being honest with myself. And she’s progressing so fast,while I’ve just been sort of focusing on her, and ignoring my own stuff.”

“That’s really common among Doms and caretakers,” Derek said. “We’ve all been through it at one time or another. That’s a big reason why I asked Arrow to speak on this particular topic this year.”

“I definitely needed to hear it,” Logan said. “But yeah, the military part just kinda blows it all out of proportion. I feel like I should be able to handle whatever comes at me, because out on the field it’s a matter of survival. But when it comes to my wife, I have to move beyond what’s simply necessary.”

“That’s exactly it,” Arrow said. “We can’t exist in survival mode once we get home. We have to actually separate ourselves a little from that huge sense of responsibility in order to explore what our needs are. Because there are times when it’s appropriate to focus on ourselves, to dial into what we’re feeling. And then we have to talk to our partners about it. We have to be open and honest with them.”

Logan shook his head. “That’s the hard part for me. It’s difficult enough to be honest with myself, but then to tell her all the shit that goes through my head? I don’t even know how.”

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