Page 30 of Rediscovering Rubi

Erika smiled and called a greeting to her as she crossed the lobby, and Rubi had such a sense of being at home at the Ranch already, even though they hadn’t even been there a week yet. It really was a very special place.

When she walked into the café, Reese and Claudia were already seated, and they waved to her from their booth.

Reese patted the seat next to her, and Rubi slid in, across from Claudia.

“Well, you look great!” Reese told her.

“Thanks, but… what do you mean?”

“She means you’re glowing,” Claudia said.

Rubi felt her cheeks go warm.

“Oh, yeah, there it is,” Reese said, a certain smugness in her voice.

“There what is?” Rubi asked, although she thought she knew where the conversation was heading.

“You’ve played, and it obviously went well,” Reese answered. “And we want to hear everything!”

Well, maybe not quite everything,” Claudia said. “Some things are none of our business, Reese.”

Reese faux-pouted. “Party pooper.”

The conversation made Rubi laugh. “Okay, yes. We played the other night in a way we haven’t before, and it was… amazing. But a lot of that credit goes to my session with Catherine—I just saw her again today, by the way, and she’s wonderful. But I think Logan had a good talk with Master Derek, too.”

“Master Derek is the heart of this place,” Reese said, and Claudia nodded her agreement. “He’s a big part of Ranch magic. He’s so smart about people, and always has the best insight. I’m sure they had a good conversation.”

“I agree, absolutely. In fact, they’re meeting again today while I’m here with you two. I think Logan and I both need to sort of decompress after the other night. Yesterday we just spent the day lounging. We ordered room service, and watched movies, and cuddled up on the couch. It was perfect. And frankly, at this age, I couldn’t have done much more than that after a night of such intense play.”

Reese leaned forward in her chair. “So, tell!”

A waitress interrupted them to bring water to the table, and they all ordered. But as soon as the waitress left, Reese was arching her eyebrows, obviously still waiting for Rubi to talk.

“I really don’t mind telling you two. You’ve become friends so quickly, and I feel like I can trust you.”

“Only what you’re comfortable discussing,” Claudia told her. “And of course, anything you say goes nowhere but here.”

Rubi nodded. “Well, did either of you know one of the private Dungeon rooms is completely covered in mirrors?”

“What? No!” Reese said while Claudia nodded.

“I was here the day the mirrors were installed,” she said. “Is that the room you had your scene in?”

“It was. And at first I was in a total panic. But I just put myself in Logan’s hands, and it all turned out fine. No,” she said, pausing to collect her thoughts. “More than fine. It was honestly exactly what I needed, and he knew it, somehow. He calmed me down, got me deep into subspace while I was blindfolded, and by the time the blindfold came off, all I saw was the beauty in submission. It’s something we’ve talked about before, and I remember seeing it in other submissives back in the day when we went to the clubs, but I’d never really been able to see it in myself. And I realized that’s how he sees me, too. How he’s always viewed me in those moments because it’shimI’m submitting to. I was finally able to see myself through his eyes.”

“It sounds like he’s a really good Dom,” Claudia said. “And a good husband.”

“He is, both of those things. It reminded me how incredibly lucky I am to have him. To belong to him. Of course, all of the negative thoughts I’ve been plaguing myself with won’t go away overnight, but we’re definitely on our way. The only thing is…” She paused, wondering what would be okay to share when it came to Logan. But she truly did trust Claudia and Reese, and she needed some woman-to-woman talk. “The thing is, I’ve opened up so much, and I feel like he needs to get that vulnerable, too. Something has been going on with him ever since he retired. Actually, long before then. There’s a part of himthat’s holding back. From me. From life in general, I think. And while we’re on the right track, I need to know he’s putting in the same effort I am. That he’s willing to meet me in the same place, if that makes sense.”

“Sure, it does,” Reese agreed. “It’s good that he’s seeing Master Derek today. He has a way of putting things in perspective for people and calling them on their crap as needed. I know he did with my husband, Arlo. He kinda needed a good butt-kicking, and I certainly couldn’t do it.”

Rubi laughed. She’d met Arlo only briefly, but she couldn’t imagine anyone kicking that man’s butt.

“I hope Master Derek can help him. I really do. There are some things Logan just won’t talk to me about, and while he’s got his friends from the military back home, I’m pretty sure those guys don’t talk about the emotional aspects of their lives too often, if at all.”

“Men are taught not to talk about their emotions,” Claudia said with a shrug. “It’s not only American men, either. Frenchmen are possibly even more emotionally closed off, from my experience when I still lived there. It’s a shame, and it hurts a lot of relationships, I think, but in that sense, your husband can’t be blamed for it, not completely. It’s what society imposes on men.”

“No, you’re absolutely right,” Rubi agreed. “Especially in the sort of cloistered, macho environment that’s military life. It has to be that way, maybe, for them to get through all the things they experience while they’re serving. The women I’ve known in the Air Force are just as guarded. I’m sure it’s even more difficult for them, having to survive in what’s largely a man’s world. But ultimately, I don’t know that it does any of them, men or women, any favors at home.”

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