Page 13 of Marking Micah

“Mutual trust, Micah. You can do it.”

She took a deep breath, the scent of fresh hay reassuring for some reason. And this was Arrow. She knew she could trust him. But as she took the apple and held it on her open palm exactly the way he’d shown her, she realized maybe it was herself she didn’t trust.

She’d have to tuck that thought away for later, but it felt important.

Her hammering pulse slowed as she waited for China to sniff the apple slice with her velvet muzzle. Then the horse nibbled at the apple, her thick lips gentle against Micah’s palm before she took the whole slice.

Micah looked up at Arrow, smiling. “She did it. We did it. Why do I feel like this is such a big accomplishment?”

He moved in next to her, a hand on her shoulder. “Because it is. You overcame one of your fears, and now you and this little beauty are friends. If you can do this, you can do anything.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. This is kind of a controlled situation, with you right here.”

“Not to scare you, darlin’, but you just interacted with a five-hundred pound animal, and as gentle and well-trained as she is, she’s still an animal. I would call that marginally controlled at best.”

“Really glad you didn’t put it like that before we started.”

“You never would have tried it if I had, but that’s the reality of it. The thing is, life is not a controlled situation. There’s actually so little we have control over. And I think that’s what appeals to so many people about kink. As a Top or Dom, we get to be in control in a way that’s impossible in pretty much any other sector of life. And as a sub or a bottom, you get to hand over the control—the need and desire to have your life under control—to someone else. Someone you can trust with that.”

“That makes sense, I guess. I just didn’t hand over that control to the right person before. And I guess I’m still pissed about it. Not heartbroken anymore and haven’t been for a long time. But I’m mad, even though I try not to be. I know it doesn’t do me any good, and that asshole has been excommunicated from the kink community, thanks to you speaking out about him, so he’s had his payback. And a lot of the anger has faded, too. But I need it all gone because that asshole doesn’t deserve that much energy from me. I feel so stupid for allowing him to still affect me like that, you know?”

He lifted her chin with his fingertips, forcing her to look into his deep brown eyes. “Micah, one of the things I hope to accomplish here—or to at least get a good start on—is for youto stop blaming yourself for that. For any of it. I know you feel some kind of shame for choosing him, for allowing him to even get near you. But a lot of people thought he was a good guy when he came to Dallas. Most of our group had no idea that he’d treat a sub the way he treated you. You’ve got to find a way to let all of that go. None of what happened was your fault.”

She shrugged, even as she started to fill with emotion. “My therapist says the same thing.”

“But you don’t really believe it yet, do you?”

She shook her head, tears stinging her eyes, and he pulled her into his arms.

He’d hugged her before, many times, but now it felt different. His strength and comfort were still there, but there was something else, a new element that she’d been given at least partial permission to explore: the sexual undercurrent that had been there since they’d met. There was no use denying it anymore.

“We’ll see if we can work through some of this while we’re here. But you’re making a good start just by being here, and by making friends with China today.”

“That was a big step for me,” she admitted.

“But you did it. And there will be more steps. And youwillfeel better eventually. I’m gonna see to it. Okay?”

She nodded against his shoulder. “Okay.”

He pulled back and held her at arm’s length. “Better?”

“Yes,” she agreed with a nod. “Better.”

“Good girl. Now we’re gonna take a walk back to the main lodge, and we’ll go meet Derek, then have some lunch. Sound okay?”

“You’re the boss,” she said teasingly.

“Yep. And don’t you forget it.”

“I doubt you’ll ever let me,” she muttered as she gave China a final pat on her neck.

“Nope. You can count on that,” Arrow said with a grin and one dark brow raised in challenge.

When they walked back to the lodge, Luna was at the front desk again, and Arrow asked her to phone Derek to see if he was free.

She set the phone down. “He’s ready for you, Arrow, Sir. Please go on in.”

“Thanks, Luna.”

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