Page 99 of The Forbidden Trio

“Anything to make you feel good. And to remind you I’m in control,” he answered, grinning because he felt so damn good.

“Max? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Ask away.”

“So, I’ve been up for a while, just relaxing here with my eyes closed, thinking about last night. I’ve never flown that high with anyone—I knew there was some higher level, but I’ve never been able to reach it until now—and I don’t mean just last night, but each time with you. It’s gotten more intense, and I go further into subspace. And I know it’s because there hasn’t ever been anyone I trust the way I do you.”

He stroked her cheek. “Thank you, baby. It was amazing for me, too.”

“So, I’m wondering if you feel like it would be a good idea to… to maybe try to help me get past those old fears?”

“Do you mean your fear of having your breathing restricted?” he asked.

She nodded.

He watched her face closely, trying to see if she was still flying from last night. He had to assume she was. He’d better tread carefully.

“Why now, Aster?” he asked. “I’m not saying I’m opposed, I just want to be sure we’re both clear on what you have in mind, as well as why. And that this is something you’ve had in mind, and not an idea that popped up because of how high you flew last night.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. They call it exposure therapy, right? Constructing a scenario in order to face a fear?”

“Yes, although I’m no therapist.”

“I’ve been to therapy. But it’s still there, Max. I thought because I do trust you so much… I thought maybe you could help me work through it. I don’t want anything holding me back—holding us back.”

“You don’t have to do this for me. If we decide to do it, it has to be about you, not what’s happening between you and I.”

“But it is. Don’t you see? I could only even consider this because it’syou. Because it’sus. But I don’t mean to put so much responsibility on you. It’s okay if you’d rather we not try.”

“No, baby, I’m not saying that at all. But you need to take some time and be certain you’re doing this for the right reasons. It can’t be because you think it would make me happy.”

“But it would, wouldn’t it?” she asked.

Tears pooled in her eyes, and it nearly broke his heart.

“Youbeing happy is what makes me happy. You know dominance, and even sadism, aren’t about how hard we can torture our bottoms, but about eliciting a response. I like to play hard, yes, but every single thing in my twisted imagination is not a requirement in order for me to feel thoroughly satisfied.”

“I know that. But I also really want to rid myself of this baggage. I have dreams sometimes… bad dreams, and I want them to stop. I want to be free of him.”

She tried to look away, but he held her chin with his fingertips.

“I get it. As much I possibly can. And I’d do anything to help you be rid of those memories, of that fear and pain. But you really need to take some time to think about it. To be certain. I want you to take at least two weeks, and then, if you still want to move ahead, we’ll discuss it. We’ll do a thorough negotiation, talk about any possible fallout so we’re both as prepared as possible. Okay?”

“Okay.” She paused, watching him, blinking back the tears. “Will you kiss me now, please, Sir?”

He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Her mouth was so damn soft and sweet, and everything in him lit up like the New York skyline. It was sex and dominance and protectiveness.

And love.

Something in his chest lurched hard, making him pull back for a moment.

He’d always loved her. Of course he had. But this? This was something new. Something deep.Inlove.

There’s nothing I can do about this. Not a damn thing.

He moved in again and took her mouth with his, letting himself become lost in the kiss. In her. In the powerlessness of loving her, of that long, scary fall that didn’t feel too scary, for some reason.

He wanted to tell her, but given that she was still likely in subspace this morning, he didn’t feel it would be fair. She’d said over and over that she trusted him. But love? The kind of wildly romantic love that was making his heart pound out of his chest? He might be the only one feeling that way.

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