Page 85 of The Forbidden Trio

“Jesus, Aster.”

“I tried to get away, but he held his hand down harder, and I couldn’t breathe. I was getting dizzy and I was so damn scared. I just needed to get away from him. So I bit him—I bit him as hard as I could. And he jumped up and yelled at me and he was cussing up a storm, then he came at me so fast I didn’t have time to retreat—I got caught up in my blankets—and he stood over me, glowering, his face bright red and only inches from mine, and he told me if I tried to tell anyone, no one would believe me, that he was an important man, and I was just some stupid kid. It was just words, but boy, did it prove his power over me.” She was shaking now, but she couldn’t get it under control. “Somehow I knew he could kill me if he wanted to. I mean, I don’t know. Thinking back, he was probably too much of a coward to do it, but it was the idea that he could, if he wanted to, that he could do whatever he wanted. Because I was completely powerless. Physically, of course, but also powerless to see that he was held accountable. And… I’m sure it has something to do with my attraction to kink—the thought thatIchoose to turn my power over to someone. It’s like I’m reclaiming my power, if that makes sense.”

“Ah, fuck, Aster,” Max said, keeping his tone quiet, but she felt every muscle in his body pull tight. “Fuck.”

“But the worst part, maybe, was that he was right. I told my mother and she didn’t believe me. She was furious with me. Not that I would expect any other reaction from her. So I didn’t tell anyone else. Not my nanny or my teachers at school. It didn’t occur to me that I could. I told no one until I met Cassie in college, one stoned night, and it was like some sort of epiphany when she believed me. She reallyheardme. I’ve done some therapy since then, but there’s a piece of the experience that always haunts me. It’s why breath play is so triggery for me. I can’t handle the feeling of being suffocated.”

He was silent for several long moments. It felt like an eternity, even as his arms tightened around her.

“Max?”

“I’m sorry. I’m frankly trying not to jump up and hunt the fucker down because I told you I wouldn’t get too mad, but… if I ever run into this guy...”

“He’s long gone—died years ago.”

“Does knowing that help?”

“Only a little. He stopped coming around after that night. I don’t know if Mother told him to get lost, or if he decided it was best to remove himself from the situation. I was just glad he was gone. But it was a long time before I felt safe. I started wearing pajamas to bed after that. I slept with a night light for years.”

He held her head to his shoulder and kissed her hair. “I’m so God damn sorry, Aster. So sorry you had to go through that. That your mother wasn’t really a mother to you. That you’ve had to carry this all these years.”

She lifted her head to burrow into his neck. Something about his scent helped to calm her. It was because it was Max. He was so familiar and strong andsafe. She took a long, trembling breath and let the sensation fill her up.

“Max? I’m glad I told you. I feel… lighter, somehow. I really do.”

“Yeah? That’s good, baby. You know you can tell me anything. You sure you’re okay? Do you need anything from me?”

She sat up to look at him, at the gorgeous face she’d known almost forever. “I’m okay. I really am. It felt good to tell you. And I don’t know if this is going to make sense to you, but it makes me feel sort of small and soft and female, and stronger and empowered all at the same time.”

He smiled as he ran his thumb over her cheek. “Isn’t that what we strive for in a solid relationship? And especially as a dominant and submissive?”

The tears were back, but for a different reason, this time. Her heart was pounding, her stomach fluttering, but it was all good. It was all love.

Did he feel the same? The things he was saying seemed to be hinting at it. Or was that her imagination? But she knew she wasn’t going to be able to figure it out right now. And that was okay. She was here with him. She’d revealed her darkest secret, and he wasn’t going anywhere. Right now, that was enough.

“What else do we need to go over?” she asked.

“Nothing today—I think you’ve had enough for the moment. Unless there’s something you want to talk about? We both know negotiations can always be revisited.”

“No, there’s nothing I can think of.”

“Good. Thank you for telling me, for opening up to me. I want you to know how much I value that kind of vulnerability and honesty.”

Why did his comments make her blush?

“Thank you. I needed to tell you.”

“I’m glad you did, baby. It takes courage, you know.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah, it does. Now, what do you need from me?”

“Just kiss me, please?”

He leaned in, his lips gently covering hers, then pressing harder. And as she parted her lips to let him in, her heart pounded with emotion. But it was all good.

After a few moments, he pulled back. “Is this what you want to do right now, Aster?” he asked, a low growl in his tone. “Because if not, I’d better stop. I just realized I have no idea how much time you have.”

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