Page 21 of The Forbidden Trio

“Right. So… that’s usually a bad idea, best friends sleeping together. I mean, sex can really complicate things, and I’d hate for things to be complicated with us. I don’t want to lose our friendship. I wouldn’t ever want to risk that, and it’s always a risk. Isn’t it?”

God, what would she do without Paul in her life? She hoped to hell she’d never have to find out. Her heart twisted in her chest, and she had to pull in a deep breath, forcing herself to try to relax.

“Yeah, maybe. I guess that’s what’s been holding me back. I’ve thought about it a lot, being with you. I’ve made myself back off and back off, watching you date other guys, wondering which one of them you’d end up with. And every damn time, I had to ask myself if letting you go off with some guy was gonna mean the end of our friendship anyway, you know? And I fucking hate that idea. But that shit happens. Anyway. I gotta say, Jess… this feels right.”

She nodded, her throat tightening. She didn’t know how to answer.

“Maybe it does.” She gazed at the fire, focusing on the dancing flames, the shadows cast on the ground. “No matter how right it feels, though, the reality is we’ve been nothing more than friends for a long time. I know I can’t expect that to change because we’re here having a wild weekend with Noah.”

She swallowed hard. The idea that after this trip they’d go back to their normal lives, that she’d never know the feel of his body again, was unthinkable, but that didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the truth of their situation. They were best friends. And her best friend was basically gay.

“Paul, as right as this may feel, the fact remains that we’ve been friends for ten years.Ten years. And all that time, I’ve only seen you date men, despite what you told me about having been with a few women for fun. I need it to bethis—what we’ve had here these last few days—or I need it to be real. The whole thing, you and me together long-term. And I’m trying really hard to be realistic. So I think… I think we should just enjoy our time here. Don’t you?”

“Jess…”

She dropped her gaze for a moment. “You can’t tell me what I just said isn’t true.”

“Okay. Okay, fair enough.” He was quiet again for a moment. “Do you regret the last few days?”

“What? No. How could I? You’ve both been amazing, on so many levels. I’d have to be crazy to regret it.”

“You like Noah, don’t you, Jess? I mean, he’s a really good guy.”

“He is, he’s a doll, and he’s been wonderful to me. I’m glad it’s him, you know?”

“Me, too. I don’t know if this would even work with anyone else.”

“Are you?” She stopped herself, biting her lip. Then, feeling foolish, she said, “Never mind. I’m sorry.”

“Come on, Jess, don’t censor yourself with me. You don’t have to do that. What were you going to ask?”

She took a breath before turning to face him. “I was just wondering if you’re serious about him?”

“About Noah? No.” She could see from his open expression that it was the truth. “I like him a lot. He’s one of the nicest people I know, he’s fun to be with, and obviously hot as hell, but it’s more casual for us—we’re great friends who have great sex when we see each other. I don’t know what it is that changes things from that to relationship potential, but some element is missing. Even if he wanted to move here, or if I were willing to go to Canada, that’s not what we have. I like what we have—we both do—but no, it’s not serious. If it were, I wouldn’t be able to share him, not even with you.”

“Oh.”

His words hit her like a blow to the chest.

If he wouldn’t share Noah, then he wouldn’t share her, either, if his feelings about her were serious. But, of course, they weren’t. Of course. If he felt that way about her, she’d have known long ago. She was a great friend he had great sex with now, too. “Hey, Jess…”

She looked up at him, at the dusky blue of his eyes in the fading twilight.

“What is it?”

“I…”

Something flashed across his features, but she couldn’t figure it out. And he didn’t have a chance to finish as Noah strode back into the campsite carrying two large bags.

“I come bearing gifts—the best burgers in town, or so I’m told. Anyone hungry?”

Paul leaned back—just enough to put some distance between them—and she felt that small distance as if it were suddenly an ocean rather than a foot or two of empty space. She wished Noah hadn’t shown up at that moment, but what would they have said to each other even if he hadn’t? Reality was still reality.

“Here, Jessie.” Noah knelt beside her, handing her a burger and a drink. “Eat up, sweets—you’re going to need your strength later.”

He kissed her cheek, making her smile. That was Noah, she’d discovered—always cheerful and incredibly sweet, making everyone around him feel good. She realized Paul was right. This weekend couldn’t have happened with anyone but him.

“Is that a promise?” she asked, feeling a bit better.