Page 103 of The Forbidden Trio

Max reappeared a minute later with two tall glasses of ice water, which he set on the coffee table before taking his place next to her.

“What now?” Aster asked.

“Now, negotiations. I’m going to ask questions, but if you need to interject, it’s okay to do that. And if there’s anything I haven’t covered at the end, you let me know.”

Aster swallowed, her nerves ramping up again. But Max was there with her. It would be alright. She nodded. “Yes, okay.”

“Let’s start with some basics. The episode happened at night. I’d considered doing this during the day so it’s less frightening, but I think we should do it at night to recreate what took place. Sometimes those small details can connect to the trauma, so it may be important. Does that sound okay, or will night time be too scary?”

“Night is probably best,” she answered, making an effort to keep her voice from trembling.

“How accurately do you want to recreate the scene? Should we look for the kind of nightgown you were wearing? Have me sneak into the room? Do we want to do a role play, or is it the breathing restriction we should focus on?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel like it’s really just the breath play. I don’t want to re-live what happened. I don’t believe it would be helpful.”

“Is there anything else you need to tell me about what happened, or other triggers, or how you’d like me to handle this?”

“We’ve been over as much detail as I need to share, I think. Can I add something later, if it comes up?”

“Always, baby.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Here’s my plan, then. We do this at my place. I don’t want any connection to the trauma in your own home, so you’ll always be okay sleeping here by yourself. I’m going to start the way we always do, so you have positive associations to lean on. But once we get to the kink part, I’ll focus only on the breathing restriction aspect. I won’t get into any verbal abuse re-creation or mind-fuck. I’m going to use my hands, nothing else. I have some experience in breath play. I took workshops before I ever tried it with anyone, so I have a good idea of how to do it as safely as possible and what to watch out for. And I won’t let it get to the point where you pass out, okay?”

“Yes, okay.”

He lifted her chin in his fingers, looking into her eyes. “Still with me, baby?”

“I am. I haven’t checked out, I promise.”

“Good. We also have to talk about what happens if something goes wrong.”

“Do we have to?”

“We do. But it’s pretty simple. If there’s a medical emergency, I take you to the hospital. Barring that, anything else can be handled at home. Now, if you start to panic, what will soothe you the most?”

“Your voice, I guess. Being held. Being in your arms always makes me feel better.”

He smiled, and even beneath the fear coursing through her veins, there was that familiar heat. He was just so damn stunning, with his chiseled features, his lush mouth.

“That’s simple enough. Now, with my hand over your mouth, you won’t be able to use your safeword, so I’m going to give you something to hold in your hand. If you need to stop the scene, just drop it. Okay?”

“Yes.”

Why were tears burning at the back of her eyes? This was just a conversation. But even talking about trying to overcome the old fear was bringing it all back again. How much harder would it be when they were really doing this?

“Max, are you sure you want to take this on? It’s a lot, I know.”

“I’m sure as hell not leaving something like this up to anyone else,” he said, a deep growl in his voice. “Fuck. I’m sorry, baby. I don’t mean to make this harder. Come here.”

He pulled her into his lap and nuzzled her cheek. Bit by bit, she was able to relax, until finally, she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Max? Can we go to your place now?”

“Sure. I didn’t know if you’d want to stay here tonight or not, but we can do whatever you want.”

“I want to do this tonight, if we can. But I need to sort of… get grounded in your environment before we start. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

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