Page 101 of The Forbidden Trio

Aster took a sip of the wine, trying to ground herself. “You know how I told you Max and I have been seeing each other?”

“You’ve been particularly close-mouthed about it, which tells me it’s serious, yes?”

“Yes, it’s… getting serious. Or maybe it is serious?” She sighed. “Yes, it’s serious. Which is another issue altogether, but there’s something else I need to talk out with you.”

“You know you can tell me anything.”

Aster nodded. “This is kink-related.”

“Okay.”

Cassie had plenty of kink experience herself, so she really was the perfect person to talk to. Aster wasn’t sure why she hadn’t already.

“So, a couple of weeks ago, Max and I had a discussion. Well, I started it by asking him to do something, and he told me I needed to think about it for a while, to be really certain. Which was probably a good idea, because I’m still not sure how ready I am. I want to be, but I don’t know that I’ll ever be there a hundred percent.”

“Then maybe it’s something you shouldn’t do? Or you should put it on the back burner?”

“I feel like if I can’t do this with him, I never will.”

“Do you want to tell me what it is?” Cassie asked.

Aster sipped her wine, giving herself a moment. “I asked him to help me work through my… molestation.”

Cassie nodded, her expression somber in the amber porch light. “That’s some heavy stuff. What did you have in mind?”

“An exposure therapy scene. Not that I want to completely recreate the moment. It’s that awful fear I have of suffocating. I have those dreams all the time, still, and I want it to stop. But mostly, I want to get my life back, you know? That man doesn’t deserve for me to be afraid of anything for the rest of my life. I need to… own it. Does that make sense?”

“Absolutely, it does. What’s the main fear of doing the scene? Is there a trust issue?”

“No, I trust Max more than anyone in the world. We’ve been seeing each other a few times a week, and he’s been so great with me. He’s an incredible Dom. An incredible lover. The more time I spend with him, the deeper the trust grows, along with my feelings for him. To be honest, despite the fact that I’ve spent my entire adult life pining for him, now that it’s happening, it scares the shit out of me. I’ve always loved him, but now I’m really falling, and it’s… a lot.”

Cassie laid a hand on her arm. “Oh, honey.”

“You know, loving someone and falling for them are two entirely different things, and they’re both happening in a sort of mad rush, made all the more intense by the kink dynamic.”

“Well, of course,” Cassie said. “It’s common in the kink community, which you know. The vulnerability and intensity involved in BDSM play bonds people much more quickly than in the vanilla world. And you can’t discount your history together. I’m not surprised at all.”

Aster’s cheeks felt hot, and she tucked her hair behind her ear. “I do know that. But still, the depth of my feelings for him is shocking, somehow. It’s like I’m getting everything I’ve ever wanted, and now I don’t know what to do with it. Is that lame? Because it feels like it.”

“Why lame? I know I’m just looking in from the outside, but this all seems pretty damn good to me. A great guy—the one you’ve always wanted—great sex, and you’re even on the same page when it comes to kink. What’s worrying you so much? Is it that he’s your stepbrother? Because honestly, in my opinion, fuck anyone who’s going to judge you guys for that. It’s not like you’re blood related.”

“My mother will have a stroke.”

“Let her. She’s only ever concerned about what her Greenwich society friends think, and who really cares? That woman has always been awful to you, and you’re the first one to admit it. And even if it means gossip spreads and impacts your Pilates studio, you’re planning to open a location in the city soon, anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Aster said with a small grin. “These Greenwich ladies thrive on gossip. It could actually bring me more business.”

“Right? So, what is it, then?”

She drew in a long breath, then blew it out. “I think it’s being afraid I won’t be able to handle it, and I’ll disappoint him. I’ve made this big deal out of it, and what happens if I can’t deal with it? If I can never get past what happened to me?”

“Would he really be disappointed in you? From everything you’ve told me, I don’t see him reacting like that.”

“Well, I’d be disappointed in myself.”

“There’s no reason to be, but I think he’ll be able to help you through it, even if you do freak out,” Cassie said. “Don’t you?”

“Maybe.” Aster buried her head in her hands. “No, you’re probably right,” she mumbled, then lifted her head. “I think he’d be fine with it no matter how it turned out.”

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