Page 10 of Submit

Chapter Four

She woke with that same need trembling like a drumbeat deep in her body, but she resisted, wanting to save it all for him, to go to him with this almost unbearable desire. It was a sort of delicious torture and she loved the idea every bit as much as it confused her.

Everything about her response to this man confused her. But what had she expected? She wasn’t so sure now.

She got up and drew her robe on against the morning chill, made her bed, fluffed her pillows. And felt just as confused as ever.

She huffed as she sat on the edge of her bed, picked up the phone and dialed her cousin’s number.

“Hallo, cous!”

Esme’s exaggerated English accent never failed to make her smile. She’d lived in the States with her father since they were in high school, ever since Esme’s mother—Skye’s aunt—had died, and she should have lost most of her accent by now.

“Esme, are you working?”

“Always. But what do you need?”

“How do you know I need anything? I call you all the time.” She rolled a silky tassel from one of her throw pillows between her fingers.

“Because you call me all the time. You sound different.”

“I guess I’m… feeling different.” She paused, gathering her breath. “You remember when you told me about that online personals site, Bondage.com?”

“Sure. Do you need help writing an ad?” Esme asked.

“I’ve already placed one.”

“Great! Are you getting hit on by a bunch of old pervs?”

“There’s been a bit of that.”

“But?” her cousin asked, drawing the word out into two syllables.

“But… I’ve also met someone. A Dom. And he’s the real thing.”

Why did it feel so much more real saying it out loud?

“Don’t tell me you’ve gone to his house without giving me his info, or I may have to come over there and throttle you.”

“No, of course not,” Skye insisted. “But I did meet him for coffee—and don’t worry—I paid to have a background check run on him before I went.”

“And? You’re far too spare on details, sweets.” She could practically hear Esme pouting on the other end of the line.

“He’s… dazzling. Handsome, smart, and so dominant I swear it oozes out of his pores. He’s unlike any man I’ve ever met before and it’s really doing a number on my head. I’ve read all the books you made me get, I’ve been all over the websites you showed me. But none of my research, none of my conversations with you, really prepared me for… him. For my reaction to him. This man—his name is Adam Dunne—just stole my breath. And I’ve met plenty of handsome men in my life, so it’s not that. It’s a sort of magnified charisma. God, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”

“It’s connection, Skye. We’ve talked about the intensity of connection in the kink realm, remember?”

“I remember, but apparently I just didn’t quite get it until now. Maybe I still don’t. We haven’t even really started anything yet—just some emails and the one meeting.”

“If he’s the real thing,” Esme said, “and it sounds as if he is, then the mind-fuck begins the first time you talk. The connection begins then, as well.”

Skye pushed her hair from her face. “So, what do I do now?”

“As far as I can tell you have two choices. You can either just go with it and see where things end up—and it could very well end with you tied to his bed being flogged, which is really quite lovely—or you can walk away. It all depends on how much you want this, and how afraid you are of diving into kink.”

“Oh, I want it. Especially now.”

“Then there’s your answer. And I know it’s not that simple. Nothing ever is, especially when you step into this arena. I can only guide you so far before you simply get started—meet a Dom, have your first spanking, maybe go to a club.”