It’s amazing how scars can still affect you long after they’re inflicted. Even though Kaleb’s gone, the scars he left continued to resound in the depths of my soul, tormenting me and overshadowing the happiness that Ryker has brought me.
After everything Kaleb had put me through, I still hurt because of his death. I couldn’t explain why, but the pang of pain, although small, was undeniable; so was the hollow sliver in my heart for him.
I knew Kamden was hurting, too. I could see the guilt and remorse eating at him every day as he tried to wash them away with liquor, and that made me feel so much worse. I hated that he had to carry such a burden because of me.
Everything was always my fault.
The shooting still haunted me, adding to the nightmares that relentlessly plagued me. Ryker was the only thing that got me through, especially since Kamden was slowly sinking into an all-too-familiar hole of despair. I needed to save him, to salvage and mend the fragments that were left of him, but how could I when I couldn’t even save myself?
I didn’t think anything else could flip my life upside down again, but I was wrong. So very, very wrong.
I sat up in bed, waking from a nightmare. The air was sucked from my lungs, and sobs racked my body as images of Ryker being shot and the feel of his blood all over my chest and arms assaulted me. My heart pounded furiously against my chest as I screamed through choking tears. “No! Ryker! No!”
“Ky, look at me, baby,” a voice heavy with sleep urged. Firm, callused hands cupped my face and forced me to look into mocha-colored eyes filled with worry.Ryker.
Sighing in relief, tears trickled down my fevered cheeks as I clasped my hands over his.His thumbs moved beneath my palms as he stroked my skin. “Just another nightmare, Warrior. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
My grip tightened on his inked hands as my eyes ran over his face. My voice was weak and hoarse when I spoke. “It always feels so real.”
He brought his lips to my forehead and pressed a soft kiss there. My eyes closed as I enjoyed the tingle he still sent through me. I felt his breath against my face as he sighed, his voice softening with his reply, “I know, baby. I know.”
Even though a couple of months had passed, we both still had nightmares about the shooting. When we stayed the night in my own apartment, Kamden often woke us with his or vice versa. I didn’t know when or if they would ever stop, but I hoped they eventually would. I didn’t want to have nightmares for the rest of my life.
“Same one?” Ryker asked, brushing his lips across my skin again. His hands moved from my face down to my shoulders. My eyes opened and locked on his as he began to softly rub up and down my arms.
I swallowed deeply and cleared my throat. My voice was clogged with ragged emotion. “Yeah.”
An exact replay of the events of that night had become my worst nightmare—worse than the ones of Kaleb molesting me over the years, worse than the ones of theincident.Seeing Ryker get shot was unbearable, and having to relive it over and over again was agonizing.
My eyes fell to his chest. Bringing my hands up, I placed one over his heart and delicately traced over his scar with my fingers.
I still can’t believe how close I was to losing him.
Another flood of tears burned my eyes, but I forced them back.
There’s no reason to cry. Ryker’s still here. He’s still with you. Stop being weak.
Leaning in, I pressed my lips to his scar, letting them linger on his skin before pulling back and looking up at him.
Ryker cupped the back of my head and gently pulled my face to his.
My eyes fluttered shut, my stomach tightening as his mouth met mine. Every touch filled me with bliss, bringing me a happiness I still couldn’t believe I had. Ryker was my remedy, the only one capable of washing away the taint from my nightmares, the only one able to take away the pain.
When our lips parted, he lay his forehead against mine. “I love you, Warrior.”
My heart warmed, chasing away the ugly, biting cold that crept in from the nightmare.
I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing him say that.
My response was automatic, instinctive because of how much I felt for him, how real it was. “I love you, too.”
Ryker lay us back down and enveloped me in his arms. Draping my leg over his, I nestled into him and released a sigh of contentment. Being like that, warm in his embrace in bed, was my favorite place to be—my own personal heaven from the hell in my mind, keeping my demons at bay.
I yawned as my eyes became heavy. Ryker’s fingers softly ran through my hair, and it didn’t take long for him to lull me back to sleep.
I loved waking up in Ryker’s arms. Even though I absolutely loathed mornings, seeing his handsome face the moment I woke up always made me smile.
He stirred, opening one eye as he gruffly murmured, “Mornin’, beautiful.”