Page 11 of Mending Scars

Nothing. No movement, no sound. Was my heart even beating anymore? How could it when it was lying dead in my arms?

The hollow pain inside me seeped into the depths of my soul, searing me with its agony. I buried my face in Kaiya’s neck and sobbed. “No! Not her! Take me instead!”

“Kaiya!” I yelled as I sat up in bed. I was covered in sweat as I fought to regain my breath. My heart pounded furiously as I turned my head and glanced over at a sleeping Kaiya.

Just another dream. Thank God.

Laying back down, I propped myself on my elbow and watched Kaiya sleep. Her cheek was on her bicep as she slept facing me. Some hair had fallen into her face, and her lips were slightly parted.My beautiful Warrior.

Watching her sleep helped calm me down when I had nightmares. I needed to see her chest rise with breath, see that her heart was beating. Just like hers, my nightmares felt so real; too real.

I brushed the hair back out of Kaiya’s face and kissed her forehead softly. She mumbled a sound of contentment and stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up. I watched her for a few more minutes before getting out of bed.

Needing air, I went out on the balcony and leaned against the railing. I took a deep breath, enjoying the feel of the crisp, fall air against my heated skin. Images of the nightmare played in my head, and I couldn’t believe how much fear a dream could make me feel.

I shook the thoughts from my head, not wanting to think about Kaiya dying. I tried to focus on something else, and my mind veered to Ethan, yet another thing tormenting me.

Normally, I would get pissed off that I even thought of him, but after seeing Kaiya trying to help Kamden over the past few months, I wondered if I should try to make amends with my own brother. Technically, he was the only family I had left.

Before our parents had died, Ethan and I had been close. He was two years older than me, and we both had been on the football, lacrosse, and wrestling teams together throughout junior high and high school.

After the accident, everything had changed. Ethan and I had trouble coping with the loss of Mom and Dad, and when Ethan had turned eighteen a few months after, he left for college and all but disappeared.

I thought I reminded him too much of what he lost. I resembled my dad, who had been our role model since we were little. He would do anything and everything to help us succeed, and had always been there when we’d needed him. Both of our parents had been. Their death left a hole neither of us knew how to fill.

I thought that had changed when I’d left for college. I’d followed Ethan to Boston University, where we both had received scholarships for lacrosse. Our parents’ life insurance had helped with the rest of the costs, and Ethan and I were able to get an apartment off campus. Everything seemed to be going back to the way things had been between us, but I’d been wrong.

I had met Molly in my Biology class. She had blonde hair and green eyes, and half the male population at our school was after her. So naturally, I’d wanted her. I’d made it my mission to make her mine.

It had only taken a few weeks before I succeeded—she hadn’t given me a challenge like Kaiya had when I pursued her. Looking back, I doubted that she was ever mine to begin with. She wouldn’t have cheated with my brother if she had been.

I’d been stupid for not seeing it. Maybe I’d wanted so badly to fill the void from my parents that I’d ignored the signs—the way they snuck glances at each other, how I’d come home sometimes and Molly was already there, how I wasn’t able to get a hold of them at times. Plus, I never thought that Ethan would do something like that to me.

After their betrayal, I’d sworn that I’d never let another person in. But Kaiya changed that—she made me feel things I’d never felt before, and showed me what love really was. But deep down, I sometimes wondered— if my own brother was able to hurt me like that, would Kaiya do the same one day?

The sound of the sliding glass door interrupted my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder to see Kaiya, half-asleep trudging toward me. She had her arms wrapped around herself and rubbed her hands up and down her skin. “What are you doing out here, baby?” she mumbled. I turned to face her. Even with her hair all messy from sleeping and no makeup, she was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen. I smiled warmly and leaned back against the railing as she pressed against me.

Laying her head on my chest, she wound her arms around me and exhaled.

I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed the top of her head. Inhaling the sweet smell of her hair, I closed my eyes. “Just needed some air—had a nightmare.”

“You should’ve woken me up. You’re always there for me with mine. I wanna be there for yours, too.” She propped her chin on my chest to look up at me.

“Okay, Warrior, next time I’ll wake you.” I chuckled as I looked down at her. I loved holding her, feeling her body warmth with life, not cold with death like in my nightmare.

“Is something else bothering you? You seemed to be deep in thought when I came outside.”

I debated for a few seconds before sighing. “I was thinking about Ethan.”

Kaiya lifted her head off my chest and pulled back to look at me better. Her face became lined with concern. “What about? Did he call again?”

I shook my head. “No, he didn’t call. I was just thinking about you and Kamden, and that maybe I should try to make things right with Ethan.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “He’s the only family I have left, but I’m not sure if I can forgive him for what he did. Even though I have you, and don’t care about Molly anymore, he still betrayed me.”

Kaiya nodded in understanding. “Whatever you choose to do, I’ll support you.”

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