Page 61 of Mending Scars

Some of the heavy weight bearing down on me receded. “Please,” I croaked, my voice tangled up with emotion.

The doctor led us to Kamden’s room, where he had a tube in his nose and an IV stuck in the top of his hand. He slowly turned his head to look at me through half-lidded eyes. “Hey,” he rasped.

My bottom lip trembled, and my eyes become watery again. “Hey.” I sobbed, making my way to his bedside.

I grabbed his hand in a death grip, fearing he would slip away if I let go. “You scared the shit out of me.”

His face fell in shame as he looked away. “I’m sorry.”

My fear and worry transformed into outrage as I raised my voice in anger. “How could you do that, Kam? You almost killed yourself!”

Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that. He’s vulnerable and needs my support, not my reprimanding.

He met my gaze with narrowed, bloodshot eyes, but didn’t reply. The hurt in his clouded stare was apparent, and I wanted to do whatever I could to take his pain away.

“I’m sorry.” I sighed, stroking the back of his hand with my thumb. “I’m just upset. I thought I lost you.”

He squeezed my hand, and his face softened as he looked at me apologetically. “I know. I’m sorry. The letter hurt so much, and the pictures were the icing on the cake.”

Thinking about what my mother had sent him made rage burn through my veins. “Fuck her,” I gritted out angrily.

Tears welled in his eyes. “She’s right.”

I clenched his hand tighter. “Don’t start this again, Kam. She’s bat-shit crazy and has no fucking idea what she’s talking about.”

He glared at me stubbornly. “Facts are facts. I killed my brother, my own flesh and blood. That’s a fucking fact.”

I scoffed in exasperation before arguing back. “Protecting me! You did what you had to do to defend yourself. If you hadn’t, Kaleb would’ve killed you, Ryker, and me. If anything, this is all my fault.”

Some tears trailed down his cheeks. “I just want the pain to go away.”

The anguish and sorrow present in his voice washed away my anger and replaced it with sadness. I didn’t think I could loathe my mother more than I already did, but my hate for that bitch increased tenfold for the pain she was causing my brother.

I released his hand and leaned over, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. He copied my actions, holding me tightly to him as he buried his face in my chest and sobbed.

My own tears poured from my eyes as everything overwhelmed me. Helplessness for not being strong enough for my brother, fury at my mother for her actions, guilt for causing this whole fucked-up mess, all combined with my hormones to create an avalanche of emotion.

Kamden was still crying after I finally stopped. I continued to hold him, hoping to guide him back from the limb of hopelessness he was balancing on. He needed me now more than ever, and I was going to be there for him.

“Tell me about your week,” Dr. Lowell prompted at our next session following Kamden’s incident. It had been almost a week since that night, and I’d made sure that he hadn’t had anything else to drink. I felt like an overprotective mother. I knew I was annoying the hell out of him, but it had to be done.

Kamden let out a deep breath. “I relapsed. Ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.”

Dr. Lowell adjusted her glasses and sat up straighter, the concern obvious in her voice as she spoke. “What brought this on? You were doing so well.”

Kamden ran his hands over his face, then his buzzed head. “I got a letter. Pretty sure it was from my mom, even though it didn’t say it was.”

Dr. Lowell wrote on her notepad. “Tell me more about this letter. What did it say? How do you know it was from your mother?”

“Are you sure that he should be talking about this so soon after? It was a traumatic experience for both of us. I thought… I thought he was dead when I found him. I was terrified.”

Kamden placed a hand on my knee. “Ky, it’s okay. We need to talk about it if we’re going to move past it.”

I searched his eyes. He still looked wounded, but strong at the same time, like he was ready to move on, but needed support to do so. And I would be that support.

I smiled proudly at him. “Okay.”

Kamden gave me a soft smile back, then directed his attention to Dr. Lowell. “Along with the letter, the envelope contained pictures—pictures of me and Kaleb when we were younger. No one would have those except her.”

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