Page 75 of The Scars of Us

I didn’t say anything. His rage was palpable, and even though I knew he wasn’t angry at me, I didn’t want to set him off. He abruptly stood before slamming his fist into the punching bag a few feet away from me. Roaring angrily, he threw it like it weighed almost nothing towards the center of the room.

His outburst didn’t scare me. In fact, it made me feel good; it showed me that he truly cared. Never trusting anyone besides Kamden and Nori made it hard for me to judge whether someone’s intentions or feelings were genuine, but there was no denying Ryker’s. There was no doubt that he cared about me, maybe even loved me.Could he possibly love me?The thought was almost laughable since I was certain that I was completely crazy. Even if I wasn’t, Ryker was still too good for me. Girls like me didn’t get guys that looked like models. Not to mention that Ryker had such a good heart.Yeah, he’s way too good for me.

Pacing the room, he cursed furiously. His face was painted red with anger as he looked toward me, locking his eyes with mine.

“He’s your twin?” he asked again in disbelief.

“Yeah. We look identical, which makes it harder for me. I see him staring back at me all the time when I look in the mirror, so I avoid them as much as possible.”

He looked utterly confused, almost at a loss for words. “How? Why?” he stammered, seeking answers that I’d been searching for years, answers I still didn’t really have.

My eyes glistened as my chest tightened, but not in the same way Ryker caused. The tightening I was experiencing was from pain, anger, and sadness because of everything my own twin did to me.

“I never really got an answer to that. Kaleb always said that I was made for him. I was his. The psychiatrists and doctors said he had several mental conditions that caused him to be the way that he was, that it wasn’t his fault,” I bitterly replied. Even though I knew it was true, that his disorders contaminated him, controlled him, I couldn’t forgive him for everything he did to me, for scarring me so deeply.

“Fucking bullshit,” he muttered angrily. Approaching me, he sat beside me on the floor before cradling me in his lap. The position made me feel vulnerable and safe at the same time. Ryker tucked some hair behind my ear, releasing a sigh before promising, “He’ll never get his hands on you again. No one willevermistreat you again.”

His statement broke the dam holding my tears. “I don’t know what I did to deserve what he did to me,” I choked through the sorrow clenching my throat.

Ryker clasped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “You didn’t deserveanyof what he did. You hear me, Ky? None of it. What you deserve… what you deserve is to have everything you ever wished for. You deserve happiness, not sadness, love, not pain. You deserve more than I could ever give you, but I’m damn well going to try to give you everything you deserve.”

I wanted to tell him that he was everything I ever wanted, more than I deserved, but there was still that small part of me that cowered in fear, afraid to give myself completely to Ryker. So I didn’t say anything, like the coward I’d always been.

His thumbs wiped away the tears on my face before he kissed me, ever so gently. “Let’s get you home.”

Ryker drove me home, despite my protesting that I was okay to drive. I usually took the underground transit to work so I wouldn’t have to pay ridiculous amounts for parking. Kamden could take me to pickup my carthe next day when we went to work out, so it wasn’t a big deal.

When we got to my apartment, I asked Ryker to come up. I was still fighting the feelings brought on by the events of the day and really needed him. Enough so that I was willing to deal with whatever Kamden had to say about it.

I walked up to the door, worried that Kamden would be on the other side and give me a hard time about Ryker. But as I opened it and stepped in, our apartment was dark except for a small light shining from the kitchen.

“Kam, I’m home,” I called out, but there was no response. Ryker followed behind me to the kitchen and laid down the bag from the Chinese takeout we had picked up. When I went to the refrigerator to get plates and drinks, I found the note Kamden left, letting me know he had gone out with some friends.Good for him.

Ryker’s arms wrapped around my waist and I leaned back against him. “He’s not here. Went out with friends,” I said, feeling a sense of relief. Kamden spent so much time taking care of me that he seldom did anything for himself.

“That’s great. I get you all to myself,” he whispered in my hair before pressing a kiss to my temple.

I brought my hands over his, smiling. “That sounds really nice.” I took in another deep breath, inhaling his masculine scent before I pulled out of his hold. “We better eat.”

Grabbing some dishes, Ryker helped me set the table. I glanced up at him periodically as we fell into a comfortable domestic routine, and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, thinking about how normal we seemed.

After finishing dinner, I started cleaning up the to-go boxes and plates when Ryker disappeared from the kitchen. I was slightly irritated that he wasn’t helping me, but I wasn’t going to say anything about it, not wanting to cause any tension between us. I’d had enough drama for one day.

As I was putting the last of everything in the trash, Ryker called from down the hall, “Hey, babe, can you come here for a second?”

I wiped my hands on a dish towel and threw it on the counter. I went to my room, but when I entered, he wasn’t in there.What is he up to?

“In here,” Ryker said, his voice coming from my bathroom.What’s he doing in there?The door was slightly ajar, so I slowly pushed it open before stepping into the room. My eyes widened in surprise as a smile spread over my lips.

The room was dimly lit by candles that I had along the rim of my garden tub. Bubbles crested the top of the bath water that Ryker must have drawn for me while I cleaned up our dinner.

“I thought you needed to relax after today, so I got a bath ready for you. I hope you don’t mind.”

Walking over to him, I slipped my arms around his neck. “No, I don’t mind. This is just what I needed. Thank you so much, baby.”

“I’ll let you relax,” Ryker said as he leaned down. He pressed a kiss to my lips, then grinned and stepped around me and out of the bathroom.

The bath was exactly what I had needed, and I felt so much better after getting out. My muscles felt relaxed and most of the negativity still plaguing me had washed down the drain with the bathwater.

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