Page 37 of The Scars of Us

Ryker grinned. “I have to admit, I was surprised you suggested this.”

You and me both.“One of my rare impulsive moments,” I joked.

“I like the impulsive side of you. You should let her out more often.”

The waiter came back with our drinks, giving me an opportunity to change the subject. “We always talk about me. Tell me about you.”

He propped his elbows on the table as he looked at me. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything—what about your family?”

“My parents died when I was in high school.”

Shit.“I’m sorry. Do you have any other family?”

“I have a brother, but we don’t talk,” he replied coldly, his jaw tensing in anger.

I’m sure he can’t be as bad as Kaleb. Fuck, don’t think about him—change the subject.“How long have you been a personal trainer?”

The anger in his face receded as he answered, “A few years—I went to school for it, and was lucky enough to get a job right after I graduated.”

“That’s awesome—I can tell how much you love it.”

“Yeah, it definitely has its perks. I basically get paid to work out.”

And it shows.I smiled as I thought about his flawless muscles, how they felt when I touched them while we practiced, and how hot he looked when they gleamed with his sweat.

The waiter brought our food, interrupting my delicious thoughts about Ryker, who slyly grinned at me, as if he could tell that I was thinking about him. Blushing, I directed my attention to my food to avoid his heated gaze.

After we finished eating, we had a few more drinks before Ryker paid our bill. Once we reached my car, he wound his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him as he kissed my cheek. “Goodnight, Warrior.”

Unable to control myself, I turned my face, connecting our lips. My mind reminded me that this was a bad idea, that I’d just end up hurt, but I blocked it out, enjoying the feel of Ryker’s hot mouth on mine.

I almost moaned when his tongue parted my lips, missing his taste after so long. His hands came up to cup my face as he pushed me back against my car.

Nibbling my bottom lip, he gruffly whispered against my mouth, “Come home with me.”

I almost said yes—almost. Lord knows I wanted to, but that scared, broken part of me took hold, making me break away from Ryker as I breathlessly replied, “I can’t.”

Ryker’s face fell, then set in frustration. His voice raised in anger as he stepped away from me. “That’s what you always say, Ky. And we still end up like this every single time.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. You just don’t understand.” I sighed as I hugged myself.No one ever will.

“Help me understand, then. I know you feel what’s between us, so tell me what the problem is,” he demanded as his eyes locked on mine.

“Me! I’m the problem! I’m too fucked up for this; for you!” I yelled, gesturing towards him before dropping my arms to my sides.

His eyes softened as he closed some of the distance between us. His voice reflected the gentleness in his eyes as he said, “Ky, no-”

I cut him off as I felt tears rimming my lids, “I have to go.”

Once inside my car, I couldn’t contain the tears anymore, and I ended up crying all the way back home. Thankfully, Kamden was asleep, so he didn’t see my puffy, red eyes and blotchy skin. I didn’t want to explain to him why I was crying after dinner with Nori.

As I lay in bed, my mind taunted me,I told you this was a bad idea.

Fuck off,I replied as I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would find me sooner rather than later.

Going to class the next day probably wasn’t the best idea, but I didn’t want to give up on all the progress I had made. I just needed to suck it up and stick with it, no matter if I had to suffer with my emotions. Plus, even though I had ruined things with Ryker, I still wanted to see him.

---