Page 73 of The Scars of Us

I knew exactly what the perfect something was—Ryker. He always saved me, and breaking me from the tainted darkness was no exception. His face came into my mind, chasing away the inky mass threatening to crush me.

I broke free of the trance I was in as I threw the calendar, sending it flying off my desk. Pens and other office supplies joined it as they scattered over the floor.Breathe, breathe, breathe.Needing to escape, I rushed to my room as I repeated the phrase over and over in my head. Grabbing my phone, I immediately dialed Ryker, but it went to his voicemail.Fuck, he’s probably already at work.

I paced nervously back and forth in my room, gnawing on my bottom lip.Calm down. You’re safe. Ryker and Kamden will protect you. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

My hands shook with nerves as I sat on my bed. Pulling my knees up, I wrapped my arms around them and began to softly rock back and worth, attempting to soothe myself. Wet warmth coated my cheeks, my fight to contain my tears lost.So weak.

My phone rang, startling me. Glancing down at it next to me, Ryker’s face filled the screen. I instantly grabbed it and answered. “Hello?” My voice was strained, thick with emotion.

He must’ve heard the panicked sadness in my voice because his response was quick and full of concern. “What’s wrong, baby?”

I thought about lying, but I couldn’t lie to Ryker. I was so good at it with everyone else but not him. Taking a deep breath, I tried to steady my voice. “Kaleb’s release is a little over a month away. I just saw it on my calendar.”

“Are you okay? Do I need to come over?”

My knight in shining armor.My lips curved up slightly from the gesture, warmth filling my body and ridding me of the cold that the darkness left snaking through my veins. I wiped my cheeks, which were tight from my dried tears. “No, I’m okay. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Are you sure, Ky? I can leave work if you need me.”

He didn’t even understand how much I needed him. He had become the glue that held me together, the stitches that were slowly repairing the scars on my heart.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll see you at class in a little bit.”

“Call me if you need me, okay? I’ll keep my phone on me.” His voice was still edged with worry.

“Okay.”

“Bye, baby.”

“Bye.”

When we hung up, I exhaled another breath before getting off the bed. Grabbing my laptop, I decided to do some work on it instead of facing the mess that I left in the office. Anything to keep my mind occupied.

I thought about going to Kamden, but I had been selfish with him our entire lives. I needed to learn to cope on my own, no matter how difficult it was. And now I had Ryker to help me through until I could handle everything on my own. Kamden deserved a break.

By the time I made it to the gym, I was like a balloon that was inflated to the point of bursting. I needed to see Ryker, to have him calm me down like only he could.

I arrived thirty minutes early so I could talk to him before the other students showed up. If not, I’d probably lose it and have a meltdown during class.

When I walked into our training room, Ryker immediately came over to me. His eyes searched mine. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Better now that I’m with you,” I said as I forced a smile. It wasn’t a lie, but I was still being plagued by the impending date looming over me, overshadowing the happiness Ryker brought me.

Slowly rubbing both of my arms up and down, the concern in his voice increased, “Maybe you should skip class tonight.”

My brows furrowed as I frowned. “No. If anything, I need to get this out. Bottling it in only makes it worse—trust me, I know.”

His mouth set in a tight line. He knew he wouldn’t win this argument. “Fine, just take it easy.”

Yeah, right. Me, take things easy? Nothing is ever easy when it comes to me.“I’ll try. I really need to kick the shit out of something, though.”

Ryker’s lips quirked up to one side in a lopsided grin. “Always fighting.”

Before I could respond, another student came in with David and an unfamiliar employee, not the normal instructor Mark. Ryker followed my gaze and said, “Mark couldn’t make it tonight. Another one of the staff is filling in for him—I need to go brief him on class.”

“Go ahead, I’ll get my gear on.”

Ryker walked away as I dropped my stuff by the bag I always used. I wrapped my hands with athletic tape, which I started using upon Ryker’s insistence since I bruised so easily, then slipped on my gloves.

---