Page 6 of The Scars of Us

When he “rescued” me from careening off the treadmill and injuring myself, I was shocked that his touch didn’t make me feel the normal panic I get whenever I come into contact with someone. I actually liked his touch. His strength made me feel safe, and I knew he wouldn’t let me fall.

Once we arrived at our apartment, I headed straight for the bathroom. Eager to wash the sticky sweat off my skin, I wasted no time in undressing and turning on the shower. The warm water helped wash away some of the imaginary filth that still clung to me from the news about Kaleb’s release earlier in the day, allowing me to relax a little.

I was thankful that Kamden dragged me out of bed to go to the gym. Working out cleared my head, something that I desperately needed in my life. Typically, I worked out at a smaller gym, but Kamden insisted I start going to his after finding out about Kaleb. Even though he’d never admit it, I knew he feared what could happen if Kaleb really did get released.

A shudder ran through me as my thoughts veered back tohim.Squeezing my eyes shut, I immediately blanked my mind before replacing the horrid images with the first thing that came to my head—Ryker.

My eyes snapped open as confusion set in.Why did he pop into my mind?I tried to shake him from my thoughts, but his dark, messy hair, inked muscles, and deep, brown eyes were hard to ignore.

There was no way I could get involved with him, even if it was only a hook-up. I didn’t need to get him tangled up in my web of issues. Guys that looked like him didn’t fall for average-looking girls like me, anyway. They went after blonde bimbos with fake tans and boobs. At least that’s what I told myself.

Sighing, I stepped out of the shower after giving my hair one last rinse. I plodded to my bedroom, avoiding the mirror once again.Definitely can’t look at myself for a while after this morning.

I quickly dressed before heading to the office to get some more work done before tomorrow. I was the Project Coordinator for a huge marketing and public relations firm in Boston. I handled client invoices, contractor payments, ordered supplies, managed inventory, and created presentations, spreadsheets, and documents for meetings.

Kamden and I lived in the Riverside area of Cambridge, a small town about five miles outside of Boston. After I had graduated from college, we moved out here away from our mother, who lived in Bridgewater, MA.

There was no way I could stay there—not after everything that had happened while in that house.

Don’t think about it, Kaiya. Think about something else.

Ryker’s face appeared again, but I didn’t try to shake his image away this time. Instead, I focused on his gorgeous features, especially his strong jaw line, golden skin, and full lips. Everything about him screamed man, and warmth began to simmer in between my thighs as I thought of him.

Damn, I need to get laid. I’m getting turned on by just thinking about a guy. A ridiculously hot guy, but still.

Grabbing my phone off the bed, I scrolled through my texts until I found the conversation I was searching for. I quickly typed my message before sending the impulsive query.

Me: U busy tonight?

Not surprisingly, I received a response within a few minutes.

Bryce: I think I can fit you in :) same time same place?

I hesitated for a few seconds before typing my reply.

Me: sounds good see you then

Bryce: :)

Bryce was a friend I’d met in college. Despite my standoffish demeanor, Bryce had continued his attempts to break through my walls and befriend me. Eventually, I had given in, unable to resist his good-natured personality and humor. Not to mention, he was extremely attractive—his hazel eyes were set upon a tan face that was framed by tousled, honeyed locks.

I’d never gone into detail with Bryce about my past, and thankfully, he’d never pressed the issue of my “issues.” It had made our arrangement so much easier, and had allowed my need for control to flourish. He had always gone along with everything that I’d wanted, never questioning my stipulations when it had come to sex.

Those rules were absolutely necessary for me to have sex with someone, and most guys wouldn’t put up with all of my OCD demands. I had been pretty promiscuous in high school, but after theincident,I’d changed. Everything had changed.

I’d spun into a downward spiral, sinking into a depression that encased me, shielding me from the ugliness of the world. Kamden had barely left my side, never relenting as he attempted to coax me out of the hole of despair I had buried myself in.

When I’d emerged, I was irrevocably altered, and I knew I would never be the same again. I had been emotionally scarred beyond repair, left a fractured shell of who I once was—all because ofhim.

Kamden had been the only light in the darkness that constantly enveloped me following what had happened. He and my best friend, Nori, had never let me give up, never let me sink too far back into the chasm deep in my soul. Even now, they still helped keep me grounded, helped keep me tethered to sanity.

Thinking about Nori reminded me that it had been a few days since we’d last spoken. Given the events of the day, I decided to text her to fill her in:

Me: Bad day today

Nori insisted that I let her know when I had rough days, being the mother hen that she was. She had been that way since we’d become friends in middle school, and I loved her for it, even if it was annoying at times.

My phone chimed with Nori’s response:

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