Page 38 of Vow of Vengeance

The whole truth is I was too chicken to kidnap a girl of eighteen that I’d never met AND make her my wife all in a matter of a few hours when I’ve been alone for so long.

I’ve never denied my commitment issues.

“I’ll call him as soon as we’re ready.” I think of Emilia and her efforts to set me up. It didn’t sound like she was informed about any of this. “How did Emilia take it?”

“In the end, I didn’t tell Emilia about your plans with Ophelia because I feared you wouldn’t go through with the wedding,” he confesses. “I didn’t want to disappoint her.”

“That’s…good.” I’m equal parts embarrassed he already knew I’d back out, and relieved Emilia wasn’t informed in the first place.

He eyes me. “Don’t leave it too long. I’m glad you have Ophelia now. I hate the dissociative state you’ve been in for the past ten years. Bianca was one wild ride. After being stalked by her, I understood why you swore off relationships.”

“I’m sure you’ve already heard about her appearing last night,” I say.

His brows rise. “Bianca stopping you in the road? Yes. I heard about that and how she brought up the baby again. I’m glad you finally asked us to keep tabs on her. I worry about her mental health. The fact that she’s still holding onto her false pregnancy story, pretending there was a baby to keep you around, then to find out months later that she never was pregnant…” His words trail off for a moment.

“It was a trying time.” Bianca was a strong, sexy woman who kept my interest until she didn’t. When I broke things off, she became violent. When that didn’t work, she tried to fake a pregnancy.

His voice pulls me from my memories as he says, “It’s the Bachman in us that makes us desire to protect all women fiercely, but Bianca…”

“We’re the ones who need protecting from her,” I finish for him.

He nods in agreement. “All this to say, I understood why you stopped dating after Bianca. I was hopeful when you let Emilia make the dating profile for you?—”

“Huge mistake,” I say. “I was drunk that night.”

“Sometimes the heart gets what it wants after a few whiskeys,” he counters. “But in the end, it was a mistake when your first dip into the online dating pool ended so disastrously. I was worried.”

The only reason I let Emilia make that damn online dating profile in the first place was because I had one too many whiskeys, and she begged.

I attempt to… “open up.” An awful metallic taste comes to my mouth at the thought of sharing emotions. Blech. “I understand your concern.” New at this kind of thing, I find myself searching for words. “It’s true. I found—hope—in the messages I exchanged with Leah…”

My mind wanders, thinking of those messages; one in particular found a place in my mind.

Four lines of one poem which have stuck with me since the moment I read them on my computer screen.

The void insidegrows deeper still.

I search and seek but cannot fill.

Did I create the chasm on my own?

Or was I born to be alone?

“The betrayal left me…”I search for words. The online connection first sparked hope. When all was taken away, the hope turned to anger. The anger died, leaving me empty. I settle for, “Cold and detached.”

Deep in thought, he stares at me, waiting for me to expand on my statement. His silence and the glare from his dark eyes are unnerving. Under his heavy gaze, I become like Ophelia, turning into a motormouth in my angst.

I continue with, “Yes, I should have gone through with the ceremony last night but didn’t.”

“No, you shouldn’t have gone through with the wedding if you didn’t want to marry this girl.” Still, he stares. Wordless. His fingertips press together harder. He wants more explanation, but I’m unsure of what. “I thought you wanted to marry her; I thought that’s why you brought her here.”

“I did. I do. I mean—” I want her, I do. But what I need now is more important. “I’m ready to be made captain.”

His entire forehead seems to fold together, his brows rising, his skin reddening. His tone is part anger, part sadness. “Is that all this whole thing was about? Is becoming captain the only reason you created the dating profile you made with Emilia? The only reason for your revenge bride kidnapping last night? Our dinnerruse last night to get her family off the scent? None of it was for love?”

Love? I’m stunned. When did that dirty little four-letter word come into play?

As Liam keeps talking, I feel the color drain from my face, my goal slipping from my fingers. He says, “What you’re telling me is that all this was done for the end goal of becoming captain and not for a relationship?”

---