Page 104 of That's Too Pucking Bad

I take her hand and lead her through the campus, toward the hidden part where the Reapers holds its meetings. The place is quiet, almost eerie, but it’s all too familiar to me. This is where I come to get away from the bullshit, to feel like I’m in control.

I stop in front of a run-down building, the one we always use when things need to stay off the radar. I look at her, her eyes wide but not scared. She’s following me, trusting me, even after everything she knows.

“This is it,” I say, voice rougher than I intend.

Her lips part like she’s about to ask something, but I don’t want to hear the questions right now. I open the door, and we step inside. The air is thick with the kind of tension I’m used to. Inside, the walls are covered with old flags, plaques, and the lingering scent of cigar smoke from past meetings. I movetoward the back, pulling her along with me, toward the private area where we can talk without anyone overhearing.

She doesn’t speak, but her eyes scan the room, catching on everything— except me.

I can’t let it go any longer.

“This is where it all starts,” I mutter, standing across from her, leaning against a dusty table. I run a hand through my hair, pushing it back. My head’s not right. Not with her here, not with the pull I feel when she’s near.

“What do you mean?” she asks, finally meeting my gaze.

“The Reapers. It’s not what you think. It’s not just some frat for rich assholes.” I step closer, watching her as she processes my words. “It’s power. Control. The kind of shit that shapes your life.”

She steps back, but I don’t let her get away. I grab her wrist, holding it lightly but firm, pulling her back toward me. “You want to know what the initiation is? What it really means to be a part of this?”

She doesn’t answer right away, but I see the curiosity in her eyes. She’s not afraid— not yet.

“It’s simple,” I continue. “You pledge to do something unthinkable. Then a new member has to sleep with a virgin. Someone pure, someone untouched. It’s a way to mark their place. Show they own something.” I let the words sink in, watching her face for any kind of reaction. “And that’s the shit I’m part of, Remy. Shit, I can’t even say because you’re too good for me. That’s what I’ve been doing. I’m not a good guy. I’m not the kind of person you think I am.”

She stares at me, her expression unreadable. “Why are you telling me this?” she asks, her voice quiet but sharp.

I’m not sure how to explain it, but I say it anyway. “Because I’m trying to keep you from getting caught up in this mess.”

“Why?” she asks, her voice soft but insistent.

“Because I’m catching feelings for you,” I admit, the words coming out like I’m confessing to some kind of crime. And I fucking am. “And I don’t want you in this world. I don’t want to pull you into this. I can’t give you what you deserve, not when I’m this fucking broken.”

She doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t flinch. She just looks at me, her face softening, like she gets it.

“Zane, I’m not scared of you,” she says, and it makes my chest tighten in ways I don’t want. She steps closer, her hand reaching up to touch my chest. “You don’t scare me. I want you. And I think you want me too.”

My breath hitches. I’m not supposed to want this, but I want her so bad it’s eating me alive.

“I’m not good for you, Remy. I’m not what you think. The shit I’ve been hiding from you. I guess it kind of stopped once you came in the picture, but all of the shit before you came along. It’s bad.”

She shakes her head, the movement slow. “You don’t get it, do you?”

I furrow my brow, confused. “Get what?”

She pulls back, lifting her wrist up to me, and I stare at it, my eyes tracing the delicate ink on her skin. A small, simple “Z” etched inside a heart.

“For you,” she says softly, her voice almost a whisper. “I got this because I’m in this too. I want this, Zane. I wantyou.”

I don’t know what the fuck to say to that. I don’t know how to respond to someone who’s willing to step into my mess, to want me even though I’m nothing but a fucking disaster.

My chest is tight, and I can’t breathe. All I can think about is how much I want her. How much I’ve wanted her since the moment I laid eyes on her.

And then I can’t stop myself.

I move, and my lips crash into hers. I don’t care about anything else anymore. I don’t care about the Reapers, or my messed-up life, or the fact that I’m not good enough for her.

I kiss her like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do, and maybe it fucking is.

She responds immediately, her lips parting, her hands coming up to grab at my shirt, pulling me closer. It’s raw, it’s desperate, and it’s everything I’ve wanted.

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