Page 9 of True Me

“What’s goin’ on in your mind, Sweet Girl?” he asks me as I watch Cash walk down to his bike and straddle it while waiting for us.

“How many other girls have worn this helmet?” I ask, my voice soft and choked off with a sob.

“None, Rebel. I’ve never had another woman on my bike for any reason. This helmet was bought for you and only you. The helmet on Cash’s bike was bought for you. We’ve never had the need to put another woman on our bikes and you’re the exception because eventually you’ll be our ol’ lady. We’re takin’ this shit at your pace but you need to know what the fuck our end game is,” Eagle says, bending down and pressing a kiss against my lips before shutting the visor and holding out his hand to help me on the bike before he climbs on in front of me.

My mind is racing and I have no clue what the fuck to think about his words. He’s just declared that Cash and him want me as their ol’ lady. Yes, I’ve been around the club long enough to know what it means to be an ol’ lady. We’d essentially be married to one another. Yes, I’ve thought about being with both men more than a handful of times but I never once thought it would be something that happens in real life. All I know is that I think I want to see where this goes with Eagle and Cash. For the first time in my life, I want to be happy with the men who see the true me. A woman who is full of flaws and doesn’t have her shit together. They know I’ll never be perfect. Maybe I can figure out how to be perfect for the two of them because they both seem to be able to balance me out when I need it the most. I just hope I can live up to what they want and need in their lives.

Eagle starts his bike and we leave the house I’ve shared with my grandma for most of my life. I want to look back at where she’s sleeping fitfully, but I don’t because I know if I do, I’ll want to jump off the bike and make my way back to the house where I know Chad will have easier access to me. If there’s one thing I know about my ex, it’s that when he gets an idea in his head, it’s almost impossible to get him to think about anything else. Chad isn’t going to rest until he gets his hands on me again and ensures he ruins me for everyone else.

I’m so lost in my head, I barely remember Eagle pulling into the clubhouse. I don’t remember being brought up to Eagle’s room either. It’s not until Cash and Eagle are wrapped around me in Eagle’s bed. They bring me out of my head and seem to make the world a quieter place when they touch me. The tears haven’t stopped but they have slowed down. None of us speak as they simply hold me as exhaustion fills me and lures me to sleep.

Waking up, I’m in bedalone. The spots where Eagle and Cash were sleeping are freezing cold as if they never once slept there with me last night. Maybe they didn’t sleep and only stayed in bed with me until I fell asleep before leaving me alone. Eagle’s words come back and I wonder if I was just hearing what I wanted to hear after everything that happened with my grandma and the nurse. He was probably just trying to make me feel better or something.

“Doll, what’s got that look on your face?” Cash asks, walking in the door as I look over at him and try to smile.

“Just got lost in my head,” I tell him, trying not to give him the truth of what was going on in my head.

“Talk to me, Doll. What has that look in your eyes? I know this is more than what’s goin’ on with your grandma,” he says, sitting on the bed and pulling me up so I’m straddling his lap and looking at him while he wraps his arms around me.

“It was just kind of weird waking up with you and Eagle gone,” I state, biting my lip until Cash pulls it from between my teeth. “Eagle told me last night that you both have a brand-new helmet on your bike for me and only me. That eventually I’m gonna be your ol’ lady and you’ll be going at my pace. Waking up alone, I guess I thought I was reading more into his words than what he meant by them.”

“He meant his words, Doll. We both want you as our ol’ lady but we don’t want to rush you with everythin’ you have goin’ on. Eagle and I know your focus is Grandma. That’s exactly where it should be because she’s the most important person in your life and that’s exactly how it should be. We want to be there for you and the only reason neither one of us are in bed with you right this second is because I got you breakfast and Reaper wanted to talk to Eagle about somethin’. We need to figure out what we need to do for you and Grandma,” he informs me, his voice gentle as he slides some hair out of my face and behind my ear, his fingers lingering on the side of my face.

I don’t say anything in response to his words because there’s nothing to say. I’m in over my head and there’s way too much going on right now to try and figure it all out. So, for now, I’ll eat the breakfast Cash brought me and then go figure out what my next steps are in protecting my grandma. That’s more important than anything else right now because she can’t protect herself and needs me to help her. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure she’s safe and whole for the days she has left in this world.

Cash brought me up a plate of eggs and toast with a glass of orange juice. When I ask why he isn’t eating with me, he tells me he already ate down with everyone else because they all want me to sleep and get the rest I’ve been denying myself because I’ve been so worried about everything and there’s not enough time in each day to accomplish what I need to get done. If anyone can understand how I feel, it’s the men and women in this club. When shit has been going down with the club, everyone here doesn’t rest or stop until the situation is taken care of.

When I’m done eating my breakfast, I put on a pair of leggings I’ve kept here in Pound’s room with a few tee-shirts and extra clothes. Reaper gave me the okay to keep some clothes in his room just in case the club went on lockdown or I got stuck here for some reason. No one wants to take his room away from him so I use it when I need somewhere to get away. At least I did until Eagle and Cash started bringing me into Eagle’s room. Still, my clothes and extra toiletries have been kept in there and I don’t plan on changing it anytime soon. At least not until Eagle or Cash say something in response.

After throwing my hair up in a messy bun, Cash leads me from Eagle’s room and down to Reaper’s office. He knocks on the door and Reaper quickly calls out for us to enter. Cash opens the door and places his hand on the small of my back as he leads me into the room. Nerves fill me as he leads me to the only remaining chair. Cash sits down before pulling me into his lap which makes Reaper smile as he remains behind his large desk. Eagle chuckles a little bit as he looks at us and reaches out to rest his hand on my thigh.

“So, um, where do we go from here?” I ask, not sure what everyone’s thinking with the revelations of last night from the nurse.

“This is a hard situation to be in, Rebel. You are part of this family regardless of what you have goin’ on with Eagle and Cash right now. I know they’ve both stated their intentions to claim you as their ol’ lady. Even without them, the second Pound brought you in here after savin’ you from Chad, you’ve been a part of our family. That will never change. So, with this situation Eagle, Savage, Titan, and I believe it would be best if you and your grandma stay here. We’ll ensure she has nursin’ when you can’t be with her, Doc will be here on a daily basis to check on her, and whatever else you have goin’ on we’ll help deal with,” Reaper says, leaning back in his chair and watching me for a reaction.

“Does Doc believe we can move Grandma without messing anything up? The last thing I want to do is cause her more pain or mess her up in any way. And are you sure it would be a good idea for me to be here with all the kids and no one knowing where Chad is or what he’ll do when he learns that his mole isn’t able to give him information any longer?” I question him, my voice almost a whisper as I wait to hear what this will do to my grandma.

“Doc doesn’t believe this will do anythin’ to hurt Grandma. Him and his daughter will be there when the ambulance arrives to transport her here. She won’t be in any kind of pain at all when she’s moved here and we have a room on the first floor here that will be perfect for her. It’s not the medical room but one where the Prospects stay so they’ll be close by in case she needs help while you’re busy. As far as the kids and everyone else here at the clubhouse, this is the safest place for both of you. This way you don’t have to leave the compound for any reason and your grandma is here. We’ll have Hawk install cameras in her room to prevent anythin’ else from happenin’ to her. There won’t be any in the bathroom, but I do want her protected when we bring in another nurse. She’ll have people here at all times. Doc’s daughter will be with her durin’ the day and a nurse will be there at night,” Reaper answers me with a soft smile on his face as he looks me directly in his eyes so I can see the truth of his words.

“Okay. I’d love to ask her and get her permission, but Grandma isn’t talking much these days,” I say with tears falling down my face at the thought of how close she is to the end of her life. “I can’t help her anymore. There’s nothing I can do to save her from what’s taking her life.”

Cash holds me close as Reaper and Eagle remain silent. I barely register the door opening as a hand falls to my shoulder and I look up to find Crow standing next to Hawk behind Cash and me. He doesn’t say anything, just gives me the comfort I need as Hawk and Reaper talk about what needs to be done to ensure Grandma is protected. They make arrangements to get her here in a few hours. Alex and Reagan are cleaning out the room and ensuring there’s nothing left in there that will hurt her while everyone else is cleaning the clubhouse and cooking up a storm. When I go to leave, Reaper tells me to rest and not to worry about anything else but being there for Grandma when she gets here.

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