Page 15 of True Me

“You can’t get in?” Reaper asks, walking up with my dad and brother as they take a stance behind Cash and me.

“She locked the door. Rebel’s gonna shut all of us out now. She’s gonna hide away and suffer in silence because that’s what she does. The last thing she needs to do is be alone but I’m not about to enter Pound’s room without her permission. We all know it’s kind of an unwritten rule that it’s Rebel’s room now,” I tell them as my dad rests his hand on my shoulder while Hawk does the same to Cash.

“Are you guys hungry? Maybe we can get her to come out if we offer her food,” Alex suggests, hope in her voice as she looks between Cash and me.

“She won’t eat. When Rebel is really upset or pissed off, she doesn’t eat. She’s too afraid she’ll get sick and that’s the last thing she wants to do. Grandma told us when she lost her parents, she climbed in bed for at least a week and shut the world out. She didn’t talk to anyone, eat, get out of bed, shower, or anythin’. I don’t know about any of you, but I’m not about to let her suffer in silence on her own because she doesn’t want to drag us into this. We’re already in this with her despite what she thinks,” I state, slamming my hand against the table in front of me before standing from my seat as I pull out a set of keys I keep on me at all times.

I have a set of keys that has a key for every door in this clubhouse and every business we own. Reaper and a few other officers have the same set of keys and we never set them down for anyone else to get a hold of. This is for the safety of the members because we never want anyone to do something stupid behind a locked door.

“Before you go to Rebel, we need to know what’s goin’ on with Chad and Fawn. Couldn’t really piece together anythin’ you were sayin’ when you called me earlier,” Reaper says as Cash stands and we follow him to his office with my dad, Hawk, and Savage following us.

I take a seat in a chair in front of Reaper’s desk with Cash at my side. The door is closed behind Savage as everyone else stands behind us. No one says anything for a minute before Cash finally says what he overheard at Entice when he was going to get a few minutes away from watching customers hit on our girl. I was right there with him, but knew we couldn’t leave her alone even though Connor, Panther, and Titan were close by.

Rage fills me again as I take in his words and realize once more how deep the betrayal from Fawn truly is. She wants to get rid of Rebel and take the strip club from us. She’s dealing drugs in the club and she knows that’s not something we’re gonna tolerate. It’s time to clean fucking house and get rid of the fucking trash before it’s too late. However, that’s not something I can deal with right now. My focus has to be on Rebel and helping her get through the death of Grandma. Of helping her ensure Grandma’s plans are in place and she doesn’t have to do anything more than calling to get everyone ready for the funeral we now have to have to celebrate Grandma’s life.

“This is fuckin’ bullshit!” Savage explodes when Cash is done speaking. “Why can’t Rebel catch a fuckin’ break? We need to find and end this piece of shit immediately. It’s obvious he’s still in town and just waiting for that perfect moment to get his hands on her. Now, she’s in mournin’ and won’t be as vigilant when she’s away from the clubhouse. If one of us who are with her take our eye off Rebel for even a second, Chad will have the perfect opportunity to step up and take her from you.”

“I know you’re not wrong, Savage. However, I’m not gonna worry about anythin’ other than bein’ there for Rebel right now. She needs to know we’re here for her and that we won’t let her push us away. This is what Rebel does and how she handles things. Grandma already warned us about this part of her and if we let this go, she’ll keep pushin’ us away until she’s all alone. And by that, I mean she’ll go back to the house and won’t return to the clubhouse for any reason. We’ll all lose our girl and she’ll be completely alone and lost in the world. This isn’t how Grandma would want her to be,” I say, pain filling me as I try to deal with my own feelings about the loss of Grandma along with knowing our girl is in a pain so horrible I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through in Pound’s room all alone.

“Rebel isnotto be left alone when she’s away from the clubhouse. I don’t want her workin’ at Entice or Fallen Ink until we have Chad. Savage, Titan, and I will deal with the shit at Entice if that’s what you want, Eagle. For now, be there for Rebel and don’t let her sink into the depression and grief pullin’ her under and makin’ her feel as if she’s alone. We’re all here for her and we won’t let her go through this alone,” Reaper says before Hawk speaks up.

“I’ve been diggin’ into Chad and have put together a huge file so far and haven’t even scratched the surface of him. He’s into shady shit and has been workin’ with Fawn for a long time. Long before she came to Entice to start workin’. I have a feelin’ he’s the reason she came here to begin with. It gave him an in to our world because he wouldn’t be able to get one on his own. Fawn is his meal ticket with several other women. He uses them to do his dirty work and deal his drugs. Chad is fuckin’ all of them and they somehow don’t know about one another. At least not yet. He’s got multiple off-shore accounts and a few in Rebel’s name he started when they were datin’. That’s why he wants to get her back so bad if I had to guess. I’ll keep workin’ on him and put together files on all the women workin’ with him too so we know in advance in case he tries to bring another one close to the club,” my brother informs us, his voice hard and cold as I nod my head in response.

“I’ll be there to deal with Fawn and everyone at Entice. I’m gonna bring in Doc to do tests for drugs on everyone. Includin’ the members who work there. It will get Rebel out of her head and away from here for a few hours. Plus, I want to give her the chance to confront Fawn about Chad and the shit she’s tryin’ to pull. She needs it right now more than ever before,” I say, standing from my seat as Cash follows my lead. “I’m gonna go up in Pound’s room and be with Rebel. We’ll worry about her eatin’ and drinkin’. I don’t want anyone comin’ in there because of what that room means to her and the fact that it belongs to Pound.”

“Okay. You do what you gotta for your girl. We’ll leave the three of you alone so you can be there for her. If you need anythin’ at all, we’re a phone call away. I’m sure the girls will be cookin’ up a storm. Keep us updated with the information of when you go to Entice and the funeral,” Reaper says as we leave everyone else in his office with him and we make our way through the clubhouse and up to Pound’s room.

Unlocking the door after our knocks go unanswered, Cash and I enter the room and close the door behind us making sure it’s locked. We climb in Pound’s bed with Rebel and hold her close as she cries while pretending to sleep during our intrusion into her world. My heart is breaking for her as I look over at Cash whose eyes are wet with moisture he’s trying to hold back so we’re strong for our girl.

“Love you, Sweet Girl,” I whisper before kissing her forehead and letting my lips linger there.

“I love you both so much,” she whispers in a broken voice before pressing her lips against my chest. “Grandma once told me the two of you would be my salvation if I let you in and showed you my true self. That I need to let you both in. I don’t know how to do that.”

“We’ll help you figure it out, Doll. I love you, too. Neither one of us are goin’ anywhere. We gave you some time on your own, but you’re not gettin’ rid of us anytime soon. We’ll both be there for every step of this with you. Everyone in the club will be,” Cash says, his voice breaking as he kisses the back of Rebel’s neck before holding her tight to his body as he presses in close to her from behind.

“I don’t want to push anyone away, but it’s what I’ve always done. That’s my go-to response to any traumatic event that takes place in my life. We have so much to worry about and I don’t want either one of you to feel as if I’m dragging you into my mess without giving you a way out,” she says before more tears fall from her eyes.

“Go to sleep, Sweet Girl. We’ve got you. And you’re not draggin’ us into any mess. Whatever you’re goin’ through, we’ll go through with you. It’s nothin’ less than you’d do for us,” I tell her as Cash nods his agreement.

“Not to mention the fact that Grandma wasn’t wrong. You let us in and see the true you and we’ll cherish every piece of your heart and soul you give us. We’ll protect it, fall deeper in love with you, and ensure you have the life you deserve. One full of memories, love, and safety,” Cash adds in as Rebel closes her eyes and exhaustion pulls her under once more.

Cash and I soon follow her into a fitful sleep. I never sleep deep when she’s in bed with us in case she needs something. Cash is the same way when it comes to Rebel. Neither one of us wants her to wake up needing something and us not there at her side to help her through it. Especially with everything she has going on right this second. It’s more than anyone should have to deal with and we’re not about to allow her to be alone in her time of need with so many broken thoughts flowing through her mind.

Waking up, I stretchmy body, listening to several joints pop and snap. Rebel’s long hair covers my chest and part of my face as I look over the bed to find her rolled over to face Cash while her body is entwined with both of us. My hand is resting on her bare waist, the skin exposed from her shirt riding up. Cash’s arm is over her body with his hand on her ass and her chest pressed up against his. My eyes land on the window across from Cash’s side of the bed and I see night has fallen. The sky is pure black with no moonlight to light the way. A storm must be coming in soon.

Getting out of bed, I head down to grab something to eat. Rebel is gonna need to be forced to eat based on what Grandma told us before. Walking through the silent clubhouse, I head to the kitchen and find Alex and Reaper are sitting at a table while several pots fill the top of the stove. It smells amazing in here and I know this is only the beginning of the food that will be cooked in this kitchen this week.

“How is she?” Alex asks me as I head for the refrigerator and pull out the three plates labeled with our names.

“Not great. She’s asleep right now. Cash is up there sleepin’ with her. She’s been cryin’ in her sleep. I guess that’s to be expected after the adrenaline drop she had today. Between her grandma and learnin’ about Chad and Fawn. She’s gonna go through the shit for a while until she can work through everythin’ goin’ on. Don’t force her to talk or stay down here with everyone. Rebel has to make that choice for herself,” I inform them, my voice soft and gentle because I’m talking about my girl.

“Good. Let her sleep for as long as she can. Rebel is gonna be hurting more than anyone else can even imagine. No one will force her into anything she doesn’t want to do. We’ll be here for her but let her know she has to come to us when she’s ready. Everyone here will be her quiet support system behind the scenes,” Alex says, determination filling her voice as she looks at me while I heat up our food so Rebel can get some food in her stomach.

“Thank you,” I say once our food is warmed up and I have the plates on a tray with bottles of water and some juice for Rebel.

Leaving the kitchen, I make my way back up to Pound’s room. It feels kind of weird being in here knowing he’ll never enter the space again. He’d want Rebel to use this as a safe space for herself considering how close the two of them were before his untimely death. Pound would feel the same about any of us entering his room just to feel closer to him or needing time away from everything weighing us down. When I enter the room, Rebel is sitting up in bed, her hair a tousled mess and red creases against her skin from where she’s been laying against the pillow and our bodies through the night.

“Hey, Sweet Girl. How are you doin’?” I ask her, walking over with the tray in my hands and handing her over a plate of roast with mashed potatoes and roasted asparagus. “Do you want juice or water?”

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