“I need to go,” she says, her voice soft but resolute. “I can’t watch you do this anymore.”
I beg, desperation oozing from my voice, “Mom, please don’t leave. I didn’t mean it. I’m just . . . I can’t figure out everything out.”
She shakes her head again and walks toward the door. “You have to figure it out, Vaughn. I can’t be the one to fix it for you. You have to want it for yourself.”
The door clicks shut as she leaves, and I’m alone in the quiet of my empty apartment. I feel her absence—a void, a chasm of failure to connect, to talk. I run my hand through my hair, the weight of regret finally pressing me down.
I breathe, and harder than any tackle on the field, it hits me. I’ve gotten everything with my family all wrong. All this time, I’ve painted them as unsupportive, as forces that hold me downwhen all they want is to be in my life. I’ve pushed them away, telling myself I could do it alone, but they want to be there for my successes, my struggles, and my joys.
I replay the conversation in my mind, her tears making me sink onto the couch. Until recently, I viewed my family as a source of stress—my mother’s expectations, my father’s absence—but now I see them differently. They’re not enemies. They’re my lifeline, and I’ve been too stubborn to see it.
My fingers hover over the phone screen as I hold it in my hand, thinking of reaching out to her again. I’m sorry. I want to explain how wrong I’ve been. I hesitate because I don’t know how to bridge the gap I’ve created.
Finally, I type out a message:I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to push you away. I want to do better.
I hit Send, and it’s a step, but it’s a step, nonetheless. I can’t fix everything in one day, but I need to start tearing down the walls I’ve built to keep my family out, even if it makes me afraid.
The weight of my emotions suffocates me. I sit in my apartment, silent and waiting, and I feel a flicker of hope. Perhaps this is the start of something new—a chance to come back to my family, to let them see the real me, and to accept their love without fear.
I stand up with renewed determination, hoping to overcome the challenges ahead. I’m ready to take my career in my hands but also to take my relationships in my hands and embrace the support that has been there all along. It’s going to be a hard road, but for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel ready to take that first step.
Chapter twenty-nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rachel
As I step on the pavement, I can feel the weight of the past weeks lifting off my shoulders. The cold air hits my lungs, bringing me alive as I drive myself harder and faster. Since I came home, I’ve been physically and mentally feeling much better. After the island, the anxiety that had been ingrained into me has worn off, replaced by clarity and a purpose.
Today feels different. I’m going to reclaim my routine and hopefully find that spark I thought I had lost. I run through the same back streets as I have so many times before, watching the children laugh, and I can hear the early morning traffic in the distance.
I feel like I am finally free, but then I see him. The man who tried to bribe me, the man who tried to use me to get his way,to carry out his evil plans against Vaughn. He’s resting against a lamppost, and when I meet his eyes, a chill runs down my spine.
I think about turning around and going back to the safety of my apartment for a split second. I can’t let fear drive my actions, though. Not anymore. I’ve worked too hard, and I’ve rebuilt my confidence, and I’m not going to give this man any power over me.
When I get closer, he stands up and smirks. His voice was smooth, menacing, but he says, “Well, well, if it isn’t the lovely Rachel. I knew I’d see you again.”
I stand my ground, my heart pounding, trying to pretend I’m confident. “What do you want?” I drag my voice out as I ask.
“Just wanted to check in,” he replies, his tone casual, as if we’re old friends. “About that little offer I made you, you know. I still think it would be good for both of us.”
His words twist my stomach in anger and disgust. “I told you once before—I’m not interested. You won’t tarnish Vaughn’s reputation. I won’t help you.”
His gaze is predatory, and he chuckles. “You really need to think about that, Rachel. It could be a lucrative opportunity. Name your price, money, a heftier favor. It’s all yours to take.”
“No,” I say firmly, the word echoing in the air between us. “I’m done with this. You have to stop contacting me.”
For a moment, his smile falters, and I can feel him shift back.
“You know, you’re making a mistake. I’m not a person you want to mess with.” He snarls.
I hear the threat in the air and go berserk with adrenaline. The anger within me ignites a fire I never knew I had. He will intimidate me, but I refuse. I’ve seen worse than him, and I’m not going to be intimidated by a man who thinks he can manipulate me.
“I’m not scared of you.” I stand tall. “I’ll report you to the police, and if you come near me again—”
His facial expression hardens, and I see a flicker of surprise. “Do you think they will believe you? A woman with no proof?”
I take a step back to the weight of his words. Instead, determination runs through me. “It doesn’t matter. I will report you, anyway. You won’t be getting away with this.”