Page 24 of Knight Life In Vegas

Ava:

I am! Just feeding Lucy

Everything OK?

Charlotte:

Can we talk?

Ava:

Of course

Phone or in person?

I hesitated. If I went home and stayed there, I was probably just going to cry myself into a dehydration headache. Not thatgoing to Ava’s would prevent that, but at least she would be a sounding board with an opinion that wasn’t spiraling.

Charlotte:

In person. I’m almost home and I’ll drive over.

Ava:

I’ll put the kettle on

About half an hour later, I was pulling up to the pack house. Ava opened the door before I had even gotten out of my car and pulled me into a hug as soon as I was within reach. The immediate affection set me off, tears pouring down my cheeks.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

“No. I’m okay. I just keep doing everything wrong.”

“What do you mean? “

“They’re allscent matches. I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, let’s back up for a second. Who are scent matches?” She pulled me further inside, locking the door behind us and directing me to the kitchen where she poured hot water into two cups for tea.

“It feels like every alpha I run into is a scent match.”

Ava eyed me speculatively. “And that’s bad?”

“Well, it’s notgood.” I explained my reasoning: panicking over choosing the wrong person, worrying about falling in line because fate dictated a match, about craving them even though I had deliberately parted ways with them to stop myself from being able to reach out again.

Ava listened quietly, absorbing my freakout with a nod here and there.

I stirred a bit of honey into my peppermint tea and stared at the golden liquid as I tried to sort through the war between brain and body.

“I totally understand being nervous.” Ava laid her hand over mine. “And I definitely get how it could be scary when you were just trying to have some fun and something that feels like the threat of forever shows up.”

“I just wanted to be independent for a while and figure out who the hell I am. I don’t even know anymore.” I buried my face in my hands. “I chopped off parts of my personality to fit the box of being Andrew’s wife, and now I don’t feel like I’m anything except a mom.”

“It takes time to find yourself again. Are you totally against having fun dating scent matches?” Ava asked.

“We both know that’s not how it works. Yours weren’t casual, not even on day one.”

“I was also in a very different position than you are. I know it doesn’t feel like you’ve been able to be independent, but you’ve done such a good job raising your kids. If you don’t want to pursue romance, no one’s going to force you. Keep exploring who you are.”

“I want to.” My stomach tightened. “I don’t think I can, though. This is twice in a row now. How am I supposed to take any chances when every time I’ve tried, fate is right there shoving someone at me?”

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