Page 90 of Entombed In Sin

What that feelingis.

That strange feeling rises when I think of the twins, too.

Laying on this tile floor—not knowing what will happen next—has brought everything important into focus for me. That includes my feelings and how deeply they go. It’s scary to realize how much I’ve given myself to the three men who have turned my world upside down. It’s a bit unnerving, but exciting too, to be this confident about something. God, I hope one day I’ll be around to tell them how much they mean to me.

But first, Knox and I need to survive this.

“What about you?” I ask. “Are you in pain?”

Knox laughs. “Sure am, but I’ll survive, Shining Starr. Don’t you worry.”

“I’m not,” I assure him quietly. “You’re a fighter.”

“Damn right I am.”

There’s a lull in the conversation. I close my eyes and will myself not to stare at these awful white tiles or think about the next time Shannon and Ronald will come down here. The blackness behind my eyelids keeps my focus for all of ten seconds. So I try to think of other, less terrifying things to pass the time. As I drift, a conversation I had with Thatcher a few weeks ago in the funeral van replays, and curiosity gets the best of me.

“Hey, Knox?”

“Yeah, Beatrix?”

I lick my dry lips, wondering if I really want to know the answer to my question. “Um, well, I was talking to Thatcher a while back and he told me something about you and, ah, I’m curious to know if it was true?”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“He… he said that you took a toe from him—is that true?”

There’s a short pause before Knox barks out a loud laugh. The happy sound makes me smile. It’s a small one but it feels good to wear it right now.

“Yup,” Knox confirms. “Sagan’s, too.”

“Why?” I ask, morbidly curious.

Knox snickers. “Because I wanted them to be a part of me. I took a toe specifically because it’s easy to live without one of those, and it’s the least obvious type of mutilation.”

“What do you mean by ‘be a part of me’? That seems very… Hannibal Lector-y to me.”

“It’sexactlylike that,” Knox promises.

“Wait,” I gasp, my eyes flying open. “Are you telling me youatetheir toes? Seriously?”

Knox chuckles. “Seriously. And before you ask why, I’ll tell you. Whenever you eat someone, you take a part of them inside you, or at least that’s what it feels like. That’s why I only pick people who clearly look like they take care of themselves. Anathlete, a dancer, a gym rat… the list goes on. With Thatcher and Sagan, I had this need to connect with them deeper than we already were. They’ve been my everything from the very start—it only made sense to have them welded to my soul. So I ate something of theirs, and now,voila, I can feel them with mealways. There’s a comfort in that you can’t get from anything else.”

Oh… that’s actually really sweet… in a gross, horrifying way.

“I, um, don’t think I could eat someone,” I admit. “But I can kind of see why you’d… do that… I guess.”

“Yes, you could,” Knox tells me matter-of-factly. “And before you deny it, just know, you’ve already ingested morally questionable meat.”

The blood leeches out of my face as his words sink in. “Knox, no. Tell me I haven’t eaten ahumanbody part.”

“Iwould,” Knox hedges, “but communication, open and honest, is a rule we have to uphold, so I’d be breaking that by lying to you.”

“Knox, if we survive this, I’m going to kill you,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut, pretending I didn’t just learn I was a cannibal. “Like, seriouslykillyou.”

Before either one of us can say anything else, I hear heavy footsteps coming toward the basement door. My heart leaps in my chest as I stiffen. There’s the click of a lock being unlatched, and it’s followed by the sound of the door opening.

“Stay strong, Shining Starr,” Knox hisses.

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