Page 315 of Rage

Breathing through my nose to calm my nerves, my eyes adjust to the dimly lit room. I'd assumed, incorrectly, that this little hallway would lead to a butler's pantry or something else unimportant. But as the faint smell of cigars hits my awareness, I realize I'm in an office or study.

The room is large and ornate like the rest of the house, but the abundance of large, heavy mahogany furniture and leather sofas fill the space and make it more cozy and lived in than the other rooms. And unlike his bedroom, there are a lot more personal effects in this room. There are framed photos of the senator meeting all kinds of important people, from politicians to foreign dignitaries to the one and only Jeffery Epstein.Gross.And in a place of pride, next to an award that I can't quite read the text on, there's a picture of Senator Havre shaking handswith everyone's favorite convict president-elect. I roll my eyes so hard, it's a wonder I can't see my brain matter.

Keeping an ear on the voices and movement from above, I search through the room. There are several locked shelves and file drawers, but none of them match the key I found. Nor does it match any of the desk drawers. Well, fuck. Maybe it's because it's the only interesting or out-of-place item I've found so far, but this key has to go to something important.

In the top drawer, I find some paperclips and an eyeglass repair kit that includes a tiny screwdriver. The desk is pretty old, likely an antique. The locking mechanisms might not be too hard to pick. Chewing on my lip for a moment, I decide it's now or never. I'm here now, and who knows when I'll get the chance again? I feel in my gut that there's something here.

A few minutes later, I manage to get the first drawer unlocked, and nearly deflate when I see it’s filled with nothing but bills and mundane files. It seems Senator Havre has yet to embrace technology when it comes to his records.

But there's something off about the drawer. After pulling it open and closed a few times, it feels like the weight isn't right, and the size of the drawer versus the storage capacity doesn't match. On a hunch, I empty the drawer completely and inspect the edges, which are uneven and slightly discolored from the rest of the drawer.There's a false bottom.

I have to use a letter opener to pry it open, but once I get the false bottom loose, I know I've hit pay-dirt. Several file folders, a thick stack of hundred-dollar bills, and a small metal lockbox are hidden beneath the panel. When I put the key into the lockbox, it fits. A rush of excitement makes the blood roar in my ears, almost muffling the sound of footsteps stomping down the stairs.Fuck.

After replacing the now broken false bottom as best I can, I put all the files and bills back the way I found them, or hopefullyclose enough that the differences won't be immediately noticeable. Then I close and relock the drawer just as the door opens and a light turns on.

Oh, shit.

There are no less than four loaded weapons in this room alone, not including whatever is in the big fancy gun cabinet against the wall near the door. If Havre sees me, I have no doubt I'll be bleeding out on the plush burgundy rug I'm currently belly down on. If he can't see me yet, he'll surely hear how loudly my heart is beating. It's thundering against my eardrums, thumping so hard I can feel the movement of my chest against the floor. I can't hear anything above it, but I can see Senator Havre's feet in the half-inch gap between the floor and the desk. He walks over to the sidebar, and then backtracks, yelling out the door for Mrs. Havre.

"Rachel! Where's my fucking ice?!" He shouts angrily.

Mrs. Havre's small voice sounds from farther down the hall. The senator stomps out of the room, and I take the opportunity to find a better hiding spot. With the contents of the hidden compartment clutched tightly to my chest, I make a run for the closet. I pull the door shut just as Senator Havre comes back into the room, muttering something about being married to a "good for nothing, barren whore".

I hear the tinkle of ice, followed by a satisfied sigh.

"Let's get the hell out of here. I need to talk to Murphy about a certain VISA appeal letter. That idiot is soft. If I don't get him under my thumb, he'll let these illegals run all over us…" His voice trails off as the Havre's make their way out of the house. I wonder fleetingly if Mrs. Havre actually listens to any of the senator's racist drivel.

I don't dare move from my hiding spot until it's abundantly clear that they're gone and not coming back. A quick glance atmy phone shows I still have about an hour before Adam is due back. His parents were much earlier than he thought they'd be.

With my prize in hand, I head directly to the opposite side of the house, through the kitchen, and back down the stairs to Adam's living space. Only when I've turned on the kitchen light and spread my findings across the kitchen island, do I take a proper breath. A breath that promptly gets knocked from my chest the moment I open the lockbox.

Chapter Six

Adam

"Levi?" I whisper-yell, even though there's no one around.

The only cameras that pick up sound are the front and back doors, and my Luddite father never checks the security feeds. Unlike him, I have the security company's app on my phone with full access, so I can go in and delete footage from the day prior. Not that I've ever used that feature before today. Nor have I ever staked out the cameras to watch my parents coming and going, or to make sure a certain blond-haired siren hasn’t left yet. I haven’t been able to get him off my mind all afternoon.

The youth group did an amazing job, and I normally encourage them to spend some extra time with the residents, but today of all days I couldn't get them to leave. I texted Levi to let him know I was running behind, but the message never showed as read, and he didn't answer when I called from the car when I was finally headed home. I hope he likes Chinese food, because it's too late to cook now.

Just now, as I was walking up to my door, I thought I heard it creak, but the light that normally comes on automatically apparently doesn't work when the camera has been shut off.Whoopsie.

The door creaks again, and a faint glow illuminates the dark outline of Levi's body. He doesn't say anything to greet me or kiss me. Not that I was expecting a hello kiss, but considering the goodbye kiss that he sent me off with… Yeah, I was hoping.

I made a decision today while I drove away from Levi, praying that no one discovers him hiding out in my rooms. I decided not to fight this thing anymore, whatever it is. Not that I've been fighting all that hard since the first time Levi kissed me. The feelings he inspires inside me—not just sexual feelings—are too intense to not be something special. If it were just physical, I’d worry more that I’ve fallen into dark temptation. I am worried, but I know there’s more here, something beautiful and pure.

After letting the other youth directors know I'd be meeting them at the nursing home, I called my favorite professor from one of my world theology courses, one who has no personal ties to my father or Pastor Reynard and happens to be married to another woman. She was patient with me while I asked leading questions without any details as to why I was asking them. Thankfully, she couldn't see how intensely I was blushing when I wanted to ask why pleasure was considered a bad thing, when it's the closest to God I've ever felt.

"God loves all of his children, Adam. There are a lot of people who interpret the Bible in many ways, but they are just that—interpretations. Listen to your heart and the instincts that HE gave you. I think you worry too much about temptation and being chased by the devil, but the only devil chasing you is your penchant for punishing yourself. God made the parts of you that feel good so that you can feel good. God made the parts of you that can open up and love another person, whoever they are. God made a beautiful world full of beautiful things for you to enjoy, Adam."

Without realizing it, she backed up the conclusion that I'd already been mulling over. That God brought Levi into my life for a reason, and that he wouldn't put me on this path to punish me with these feelings. Because the things I feel are too good and too pure to be evil.How could love ever be wrong?

Levi grasps my wrist and pulls me inside, leading me to the kitchen island, where there's a mess of papers, pictures, cash, and prescription bottles. My eyes skim over it all, but hone in on the haunted look in Levi's blue eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask, but it's a stupid question. He doesn't look okay. "What is all this?"

He swallows and fixes me with a pained stare.

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