Page 225 of Rage

After Lenora yelled at me about her rape, I’ve given her space. I was wrong to impose on her sanctuary and try and change it to suit me when I’m only a small cog in the inner workings of the compound. After that day, I promised to be more open-minded and think of myself as one of the group. We all work so hard to keep this place running, and it would be a shame if my hubris were to bring it all crashing down.

Today is finally the day I make it up to Lenora. I want to prove to her that not only can I be useful, but I can also be good company when she’s lonely. Let’s face it: I’m lonely all the damn time, and I am praying that after tonight, she invites me over. I don’t even care if it’s just for one night. I’ll take what I can get.

When the sun is low enough in the sky, I leave my cabin and jog over to Lenora’s in the hopes of finding her before her perimeter check. Bingo. She exits her quaint cabin and stretches her lithe body. When her arms reach for the sky, a sliver of her hips show, and my eyes latch on immediately.

No. Stop it.

This isn’t the time for that.

Maybe later, though.

“Hey, Lenora!” I call over, heeding her words about the dangers of sneaking up on her.

“Davey? Hi.” She turns to me and cocks her head in a way that has her pink hair tilted to the side. She’s so pretty.

“I wanted to ask if I could join you on your walkabout today. You know? To check the perimeter and stuff?”Smooth. What is wrong with me?

She eyes me skeptically. I guess I would too, considering.

“I also wanted to apologize and figured a walk would help get out any awkwardness.”Yes, bring attention to it. That is exactly how to get around it.Mentally, I slap myself. I am a respected OBGYN. I talked to patients for years without sounding like an idiot. What is it about Lenora that reduces my brain to mush?

Her smirk is small but brings hope to my heart. “Sure. But don’t think I won’t kill something just because you’re with me,” she says as she walks ahead of me.

“Don’t you meansomeone? You know what, never mind! So! That apology.”

We walked in companionable silence for about half of the check. After some needling, she did accept my apology, but only if I focused on my job and had more empathy for the people in our camp than the Beasts.

That one hurt, but from her perspective, that is exactly what I was doing. It’s impossible to see a viewpoint opposite to yours when you believe there is no shared bond between you.

The truth is, the tenuous string holding together our paths is weaved in an inexplicable way that is glaring if we look hard enough. We’re all survivors of the end times. We all live together, work together, for a common goal. My holier than thou attitude did nothing but distance me from people who can be my tribe, my support. Lenora has taught me so much; I can only hope to repay her kindness one day.

Up ahead, there’s a foreign sound that breaks our silence. It has been so long since I’ve heard a child’s voice that it stops me in my tracks. “There’s a girl crying over there!” I whisper harshly to Lenora as I point to a figure, huddled low to the ground, sobbing and clutching her gaunt knees to her chest.

Before I can move forward, her arm swings out and catches me across the chest. My oomph is louder than I mean it to be, and she shushes me afterwards.

Sorry, I mouth to her. With a soft whisper, she leans into me.

“This doesn’t feel right. There’s no way a lone girl survived this long. Let’s get back to camp.” She turns on a dime and begins treading back the way we came.

What is she talking about? This girl is a child!

“Wait,” I breathe, catching back up to her. “It’s a child. She looks hurt. We have to check her out at least. You found me alone too, remember?” It wasn’t too long ago that I was in the same situation, except I was burying my dead brother. I can only imagine what causes her to wail into the night sky.

“Do not approach until I think of a plan.” She pins me with her steely gaze, but it makes no sense.

“What could happen? She’s a child, for Christ’s sake, Lenora!” I make my way towards the crying girl, and the closer I get, the more I can make out. She’s in a tattered dress, maybe a nightgown? And there’s blood. She’s covered in it. Forgetting to keep my voice down, I call back to Lenora, my doctor hat firmly in place.

“She is bleeding. I won’t know why until I can examine her. Help me bring her back to the camp.”

“No. Davey, wait!” But her pleas fall on deaf ears. I rush to the young girl’s side and start my assessment.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” I ask, hoping she can at least communicate with me. She moans, holding her stomach, where the patch of red on her nightgown grows dark with blood. Fuck.I may be a doctor with medical practice, but I haven’t handled non-pregnancy emergency situations since my first residency.

“My name is Davey. I’m a doctor. I’m going to turn you onto your back so I can see what’s going on with your stomach. You’ll be alright.” I try and calm her, but she’s shaking like a leaf, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s from the cold or from blood loss.

When I turn her over, tears streak her eyes, and her hands fall away from her stomach. I palpate the area and don’t feel any wound that would result in so much blood loss. Confused, I try and talk to her again.

“What’s your name?” I ask, wondering what she could be doing out here all alone. And that’s when I realize my series of mistakes. How could she be so close to the compound, alone, when no one has been in this area in over a year? Chills skate down my spine as I scramble to my feet.

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