Page 218 of Rage

DAVEY

The group decided to rest after a few hours. The blonde one keeps looking back at me. She’s pretty squirrelly, so the next time I catch her glancing back at me, I try to be friendly. What other option do I have if I plan to live with them?

“I’m Davey, by the way.” She doesn’t return my smile, but that’s alright. I don’t expect a welcoming party in this day and age. Her steps slow as she matches my pace, leaving the tiny leader at the front of the group.

A petite woman with a grown out pink bob leading a senior citizen and a teenager through the nothingness of the world. She is quite the sight.

“That’s Lenora. She runs the compound.” Maybe she caught me staring. “I’m Jones, and that’s Antonia. We’re the compound hunting party. I’m–I’m sorry about your brother.”

When I look down, she’s looking straight ahead, and her shoulders square.

“Thank you. You look like you’re around the same age. He’s only nineteen, but he’s a good one, if you’d believe it. He was a good one.” Memories of changing his diapers and teaching him to ride a bike swarm my mind, and it takes everything inside ofme to push the grief into a box where I can shut the lid. I have to keep going. I have to survive, or all of this was meaningless.

“I’m twenty. But yeah, I believe there are still good ones. We have around thirty guys back at the compound. They all came in as sons of the women we saved. Some were babies and some were teens. They’re the only men I trust in this world.” Shadows from the moon dance across her face.

“You saved them all? So you were there in the beginning?” I want to learn as much as possible about these women. It’s miraculous that they have survived, and thrived, this long. My curious brain takes over.

“No. Lenora started it all. She is the toughest person I know. She’s the one who saved me from my family. Beasts and sympathizers. They tried to kill me, but Lenora found me and took them out one by one. She’s my hero.” The hint of adoration in her otherwise stoic voice warms me.

But the easy way in which she recounts the murder of her family leaves me with more questions than answers. Lenora killed her family? That tiny pink haired pixie of a woman killed people?

“She killed them all?” I can’t mask my surprise.

“Yeah. Three brothers, two cousins, and my dad. They purged my mom early on. I think she got off the luckiest.” I can see the hint of a smirk on her face.

Holy shit. The desensitized way she recounts their deaths is the perfect reminder she is a part of a hunting party. Despite that, Lenora looks to be about five foot three and built like a teenager. How did she take out so many people and save Jones? My eyes catch on her pink hair and the hilt of her blade in its holster. It gleams at me like a secret wink.

A shiver climbs up my spine. To kill that many, she must be quick and lethal, probably fast. Warmth fills my belly, and I shift in my jeans at the pooling arousal between my legs. That shouldnot turn me on at a time like this, but I can’t help it. Part of me—okay, all of me— wonders what else her talented hands can do besides kill.

No. That is crazy. I’m a doctor. I save people. Maybe my grief is manifesting in some crazy way that makes murderers seem attractive. That has to be it.

“Sorry for all the questions. It’s been so long since I’ve talked to anyone besides my brother. I’m socially awkward.” My laugh catches on the wind, and Lenora shoots a quick look my way. Her round blue eyes are like denim in the moonlight, stopping me in my tracks.

“We try to keep quiet so we don’t attract anyone,” Jones supplies in her low tone.

Right. The Beasts. Good job, Davey. How many more graves can you dig today?No. Stop.Keep the lid closed.

We finish the walk in silence. Time passes and the moon drifts in the sky, unaware of the destruction down below. When we stop for a break, Lenora finally talks to me.

“Don’t worry. We’ll keep you safe.” Her wide blue eyes stare into the white of the moon and, for a moment, she breathes in the night's light. “I have to admit, it was surprising to hear about how your brother passed. I’ve eradicated most of the packs in this area. Sorry, by the way.” Her words are direct but still sincere. It doesn’t feel like an empty platitude filled with pity for the poor, lonely woman. I may not have been around many lately, but even being with this small group of women feels different. They understand the indignities, the trauma, the hardships, like no other. We all know there’s no time for pity and grief when death is hot on our heels every day.

“Thank you. He’s a good one. He was a good one.” Fuck. I don’t think I will ever get used to referring to him in the past tense. The lid on my box of grief threatens to open while I pile brick after brick on top, willing myself to go numb.

“I’ll take your word for it.” Her eyes catch mine, steady, serious. “But he was lucky to travel with you. We don’t ask questions when we find packs or lone Beasts. If they get the advantage, it makes my job that much harder.”

Her job. Murdering. She’s a murderer.

Even with our height difference, she is intimidating. She exudes a rare powerful aura that’s refreshing. But her words give me pause. What a one track mindset, one that can cause so much more harm than necessary.

“Not all men are Beasts. My brother is proof of that.” I can’t repress my look of disgust. That she would kill before even knowing whether someone was lost or needed help is astonishing. How can someone so beautiful be so callous?

“Thinking like that gets women hurt.” Her tone hardens. “It’s them or us. If you want to live among us, you’ll get used to that now. We don’t have the privilege of asking questions first. That time passed three years ago when this bullshit started.” Her eyes blaze with passion.

“I’m a doctor. I cared for all kinds of people in my career, and I can’t just shut off my empathy. I’m not a sociopath.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize what I’ve implied. “Shit, I didn’t mean?—”

“No. It’s alright.” She takes a measured step back, taking her citrus and earthy scent with her. “You keep your empathy. And I’ll keep the sociopathy that keeps my community safe. Think whatever you want about me. I’ve got a job to do.” She stalks over to Jones, pink hair swaying, and lowers her voice to barely a whisper.

Well, that could have gone better. For so long, I was the one who wore a brave face and took care of someone. It’s going to be tough to change that. The warm breeze coats my lungs, and I bathe in the light of the moon. A long night indeed.

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