Page 378 of Rage

I press my mouth against hers to cut off her questions and pump my fingers into her. She’s so tight and warm around my digits, her channel pulsing with every thrust, but it’s not enough. I want to feel more of her, drink her in, drown in her.

“They’ll kill you, and you know it,” I say before dropping to my knees in front of her. I nudge her legs further apart and paint a lick over her seam.

My heart is racing, beating in my throat as the taste of her arousal blooms over my tongue. If anyone finds us like this, they’ll kill us both. They’ll make a spectacle out of us in the square and leave us dangling there for days as a reminder to never disobey the High Majesty.

But I can’t stop.

Lita is the only thing in this entire world that makes me feel something. The numbness fades, replaced by a flutter in my chest and a warmth in my veins whenever she’s near. When I touch her, jolts of electricity dance through my limbs.

The way I feel doesn’t have a name. It doesn’t exist in Merik, but I know it’s real.

She comes with a whimper, clamping a hand over her mouth to keep quiet, and I kiss my way back up her body. When she reaches for the apex between my thighs, I brush her hand away.

“When are you going to let me touch you?” She pokes out her bottom lip, pouting, and reaches for her wash towel.

“One day,” I say, even though I don’t know the answer. I press my lips against hers in a quick kiss to reassure her.

Dark memories begin to bubble up, but I mentally skirt over them, stuffing them down deep where they belong. Just because a Peace Officer isn’tsupposedto do something, doesn’t mean they always follow the rules.

And if they break the rules, they’re never punished.

The violent memories of hands on me, touching me—violating me—is enough for me to tell Lita no. Even if she doesn’t understand why, and probably never will because I won’t tell her, she respects my decision and washes me instead, taking her time to scrub the day’s work off my skin.

She kisses me one final time before slipping out of the bathroom alone and making her way to the opposite end of the hall. I wait, counting out a full minute before I follow after and hurry to my room.

When I lie down for the night and close my eyes, wishing with all my strength that things could be different, a sense of hopelessness settles over me as reality sets in.

This is the way, as it must be.

Chapter Three

September 2, 2050

My eyes are focused so intently on the bathroom door that I’m surprised my gaze hasn’t bore a hole through the wood. I’ve been waiting for nearly half an hour, expecting Lita to slip in at any moment, but she hasn’t shown. It’s odd because her group got back hours before ours today.

She should have been here by now.

Did she fall asleep?Is she avoiding me?

I run through the same questions I’ve been asking myself over and over as I pace the tiny room, trying to figure out what’s going on. Is this her way of telling me things are over between us?

My stomach sinks.

With her birthday quickly approaching—and inevitably the day she ages into the breeder faction—we’ve spent every chance we could together. Stolen moments in hallways, shared glances, sweet whispers.

When we’re apart she consumes my thoughts, and when we’re together I drink in every second, begging the universe for more time with her.

But now… something feels off.What’s taking her so long?

The reasonable part of me knows I should just shower and head to my room for the night. After all, we aren’t supposed to be together, and investigating may raise a red flag to the other girls. It’s best if I turn in and ask her tomorrow in the light of day why she didn’t show.

However, the unreasonable part of me demands attention, curiosity burning through me like white-hot fire.

I chew the inside of my cheek, indecision mounting as I reach for the shower knobs. I wash myself quickly, the numbness spreading through my veins like a disease, and quickly dry off. I drag on my pajamas and wrap a worn towel around my long, dark hair, indecision tugging at my gut.

I should head back to my room and turn in for the night.

I definitely shouldnotbarrel down the hall to Lita’s room and demand answers.

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