Page 333 of Rage

“You will soon enough.”

I chuckled to myself; He was right. I found out exactly what he meant. I used him to feel good, even if it was very short-lived.

With a bored sigh, I flipped the homeless man’s body, so he was lying on his back, and lifted his shirt, revealing his stomach and chest. Just like I did with the bird when I was eleven, I pressed the tip of my knife into his skin at his sternum, dragging it down towards his hips, cutting him open.

Intestines…liver…kidneys…

Absentmindedly, I continued to hum Für Elise while sitting cross-legged. Propping up my chin in one hand, I poked at this dead homeless guy’s organs in his sliced open stomach with the tip of my knife. The voices from the past continued to echo in my mind.

“I’m learning about organs in school, and I just wanted to see some real ones…”

“Tara! Oh my god, what are you doing?!”

“I knew you loved that photo, Tara…”

“Tell me… Do you like what you see?”

“Fuck, yes, Tara. Take my cock, use me…”

The voices in my mind dissipated, and I grew bored. Wiping my knife clean on his dirty shirt, I tucked it away in my small crossbody bag I carried. Still humming, I rifled through his pockets for anything else of value. Satisfied, I ended up with three dollars and a half-empty pack of cigarettes with an almost spent disposable lighter inside.

“Nice,” I said out loud, standing to my feet and brushing the dust off of my jeans.

I continued to walk deeper into the alley, turning the corner around the back of this abandoned building. The main road was about half a block to my north and I needed to get to the highway across the main road, where Alaina and I camped out.

The thought of Alaina letting me use her body in exchange for the fix of heroin in my pocket triggered that hint of feeling I’ve been craving; killing wasn’t enough for me tonight. I needed more.

Jogging across the street, I made my way through a hole in the chain-link fence separating the street from the highway. I carefully maneuvered down the steep decline in the landscaping towards an overpass. Following my usual trail I’ve created, I approached our tent, discreetly hidden behind tall brush so it wasn’t visible to passing traffic.

I could hear Alaina’s whimpering from the inside of the tent as I unzipped the door and ducked inside. She was curled up in a ball, shivering and pale. She had kicked off her blankets and was in just a tank top and panties despite the cool night time weather. Kneeling by her side, I brushed her sweaty blonde hair away from her eyes.

“Alaina,” I said in a monotone voice.

“T-Tara…”

“Sit up, I got it.”

Weakly, Alaina sat up, and leaned against a rolled up sleeping bag. She licked her dry lips and looked into my eyes. She raised her eyebrows as if in pain. I took a moment to assess her and try to sympathize… But I couldn’t.

Chapter Three

Alaina

Where is Tara? She’s been gone too long…

The tremors in my body forced me to curl up into a ball as I tried to keep my withdrawal symptoms at bay. I could not calm my body. I knew what was happening, but my brain could not comprehend it; the anxiety is overwhelming.

Every inhale felt like my lungs were being ripped out of my chest, and every exhale felt like I would vomit the contents of my stomach. All I wanted was Tara, and she’s been gone for over two hours.

Tara has been the only light in the darkness of my shitty life.

Things weren’t always like this for me. I had the picture perfect life; wealthy parents, white picket fence home, full ride scholarship to Alabama State University, the whole “growing up with the silver spoon” thing. My parents divorced when I was a freshman in high school, and my picture perfect family fell apart.

My dad ended up moving out of state, to “find himself again” and my mom remarried quickly, and moved my stepfather into my family home.

Losing my dad was detrimental to my mental health. He cut off all contact with my mom and I, refusing to be present in mylife in any capacity. I was his only child, his only daughter, and he abandoned me.

On my high school graduation day, I walked to receive my diploma as valedictorian five minutes after being notified that my stepfather shot and killed my mother, then killed himself.

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