Page 286 of Rage

Ivy

“Ivy?”

Ewan’s voice travels through the fog that seems to be clouding my vision and my thoughts, and I sit up, quickly looking around. I’m still covered in Drake’s blood, and his body is on the ground, lifeless.

I’m surprised to notice that I’m back on Ewan’s bed and both him and Florian are awake and staring at me.

“You did it,” Florian states, his face filled with relief. “You killed him.”

I swallow hard, but it doesn’t help. My gaze darts back to Drake, and bile rises in my throat before I bend over the side of the bed and heave. There isn’t a ton in my stomach, and it doesn’t take long before I’m sitting back up, my body shaking from the earlier events.

“Ivy,” Ewan says softly. “I understand you must be in shock?—”

“I’m not in shock,” I tell him, cutting him off.

I lock eyes with Ewan, noticing the beautiful golden glow both of my mates have with their distinctly different colors of brown and green. I’m aware that what just happened has me emboldened, and I might regret this, but it’s now or never.

“Drake isn’t the first person I’ve killed.”

Both men look taken aback, and Ewan shakes his head. “You’ve never shifted. You told me that.”

I shrug. “You’re right, I hadn’t ever shifted until today.” A smile creeps across my face at the memory of that shift, and how glorious it felt. “But that doesn’t mean I haven’t taken a life.”

Taking a deep breath, I resign myself to the fact that I’m a monster and these men may hate me forever.

“After my father was killed, my mother was supposed to bear more pups for the pack but couldn’t. She was depressed, more so than a normal depression, and she couldn’t get herself out of it. She let the men she slept with abuse me, couldn’t get herself out of bed to help me even if I was being dragged out of my own bed by my hair or when I was force fed meat that turned out to be my murdered father. And when I turned twenty-one? She said she was shipping me off to the Forresters, that they were coming to get me. She had sold me off because I was worthless.”

Both Florian and Ewan are still staring, their mouths open wide as they listen to me. I glance down at the blood all over my body and remember the day vividly.

“I wasn’t going to be sold. I snapped. And I killed her. Drove a blade right into her heart, but I was too late. The Forresters were already there, and they scooped me up anyway. It just gave them more ammunition against me. Not only was I a useless, broken mutt, I was also a murderer. A wolf who killed her own. There’s no coming back from that.”

“They would have told your old community?” Florian asks, his voice quiet.

I shake my head. “They already told everyone. I had nowhere to go aside from the Forresters. I was a villain back home—a true and veritable monster.”

My voice cracks at the end, remembering what Garret and Acton told me. How no one back home would ever trust me ortake me back in. And when I glance up at the two men beside me, my mates, I half-expect them to have left, but they’re both still there—watching me.

“They isolated you,” Florian states.

Ewan scoffs. “They did more than isolate her.”

I cringe a little at that but try to shake it off. “I understand if this changes things?—”

Ewan holds up a hand to me, effectively pausing me mid-sentence. “It doesn’t change a thing, Ivy. Both Florian and I would have killed Drake if we had the chance, and we will forever be grateful that you did it.”

“And neither of us are saints,” Florian adds with a shrug. “When Olly died and Ewan was in the hospital, I killed anyone that looked at me the wrong way. Racked up quite the body count before Drake tranquilized me and got the chip implanted.”

That shocks me a little, but Ewan nods. “We also took out Oliver’s father when he stormed in here demanding that Olly leave. Said he needed to find a real mate, a woman, not just a bunch of guys to fuck around with. He came after Olly, and both Flor and I got in between. It didn’t go well.”

“Gods,” I breathe, unable to help the giggle that comes out afterward. “We’re all a little fucked up, aren’t we?”

Florian grabs my hand and presses a kiss to the back. “We are, love.”

“He’s gone,” Ewan assures me. “And that’s enough for Flor and me to rest easy, but I feel like it’s not for you, is it, Ivy?”

I glance up into his gorgeous hazel eyes that have a familiar and knowing look in them and shake my head. “No. No, it’s not.”

Chapter Twelve

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